Get self respect FAST

 

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Photo by FootMassagez

 

Get self respect FAST

When you have self respect, you treat yourself well and you expect others to treat you well too. It’s a win-win situation, a no-brainer. So why is it that so many of us seem to lack self respect? When we listen to others too much and we don’t believe in ourselves enough, our self respect can wane. Here are a few ideas to keep you on track and to remind you to strengthen your resolve to be good to yourself and to have clear boundaries as to what you will and won’t accept from others.

Fair

Be fair, not only to others but especially to yourself. Show yourself compassion and talk to yourself in a positive manner. Be your number one fan. Learn to like yourself.

Apologies

Don’t apologise unnecessarily. If it’s warranted, apologise by all means but don’t make a habit of constantly saying sorry. This sends a message that you aren’t as worthy as others and that you need to make excuses for yourself. Often we don’t need to explain ourselves but we go into ‘people-pleasing’ zone. This can erode self respect. Learn to see yourself as worthy and as valuable as any one else. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to say what that is. Be bold, brave and confident.

Stick to Values

Never compromise your values just to be liked or to get what you want. Stand up for what you believe in. Decide what your values are and use them to guide you. Use your values to create goals. Purpose adds to self respect.

Truthful

Avoid dishonesty such as exaggeration or acting helpless as a form of manipulation. Be assertive enough to be truthful about who you are. The more you present yourself as you truly are, the more confidence you will have in yourself. When we try to be someone other than who we are, we are basically telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Be proud of yourself, quirks, faults and all. The more you stay true to yourself, the more you will realise how accepting others actually are.

Self respect is all about treating yourself well and not allowing others to mistreat you either. It is made up of a healthy dollop of self esteem. Like yourself, “act as if” if you don’t always feel confident. Behaving in a confident way can actually lead to it becoming a more natural state of behaving over time. You owe it to yourself to make the most of your life.

Mandy X

What I Wish I Knew About ADHD Growing Up

 

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What I Wish I Knew About ADHD Growing Up

In this day and age, it seems everyone has ADHD. It’s much more difficult to make decisions. Focus and attention is seen as a rare commodity. These issues may seem difficult for the everyday person, but what if you have ADHD? What if your attention span was already limited before the game began? What if you, or somebody you know has enough issues focusing on important tasks?

As you can imagine, the extra level of distractedness with ADHD can be debilitating. I know what it’s like because I’ve had it my whole life. However, I figured out a few insights and tricks I wish I knew were available.  After practicing them in adulthood, I would gladly recommend anyone with ADHD, child or adult, to use right away.

Acceptance

The first lesson I wish I learned early on is to accept my ADHD. Having ADHD is not a bad thing. It’s simply a thing. It was incredibly hard for my achievement driven personality to accept my disorder. I wanted to be like the other achievers, and I thought I was alone.

Now, according to mental health experts, 1 in 5 adults have a mental health disorder. What does this mean? It simply means you’re part of a group of people who struggle with normal day to day activities. First and foremost, welcome to the club! You’re more normal than you think you are and that’s ok.

Many great achievers such as Jim Carrey and Michael Phelps have ADHD. Knowing I wasn’t alone made it a lot easier to accept where I was. That being said, I want you to leave here today with a little more than just acceptance. As great as it is, that’s only part of the solution.

 

It Will Take You More Time To Finish Tasks Than You Realize

Preparation is the hallmark of a champion. When I was younger, it was easy to procrastinate, but that was because the game was simpler and wasn’t much of a consequence when I didn’t. That changed very quickly in adulthood. This may come as a shock to many of you, but I wasn’t a planner. In fact, I hated the idea of planning. I often thought, “how dare you impose structure on my life! One does not simply plan their way to success!”

I was partly right in the fact plans only go so far, but I completely threw preparation to the wind and it cost me time. Oh, I lost so much time! The real lesson wasn’t just in preparation, but in the fact I get distracted more easily than others and it takes much more time for me to prepare than the average person.

What often took my peers a couple hours to complete, consumed most of my day. Sometimes all of my day. This was an issue because I spent more time to get the same level of results. My work life suffered immensly. I missed project deadlines, screwed up speeches, and became best friends with HR for all the wrong reasons.

As much as I told myself I was making progress I knew deep down it wasn’t true. By realizing how long it takes me to work I’ve been able to develop systems and strategies to help me prepare better and with less energy. All of these realizations pale in comparison to the power of accountability.

Accountability is Your Best Friend

As much as I hated my mother, professors, and bosses nagging about my behavior I realized they had something important. They could tell when I was distracted. Distractions themselves are not bad. They are responsible for making daily life tolerable and even fun. The level I was distracted clearly got in the way of my goals and aspirations. I was also just wasting time. The distractions didn’t even feel good. It almost hurts how long it took me to understand how powerful accountability is.

I never knew how great accountability was until I practiced it. Having the fortune of a great boss really nailed this lesson. My boss and I wanted to exchange emails everyday with a plan on what I was required to get done. At first, it seemed like micromanagement. Who wants somebody looking over your shoulder the whole time? Everything changed after I saw the results.

Not only did I accomplish way more, but my overall quality was better as well. I stopped missing deadlines, no longer fell asleep in meetings, the list goes on. My ability to focus and limit started growing thanks to my boss keeping me accountable.

By far, I think having a healthy accountability partner in your goals is one of the best lessons I wish I learned early on. What made me hate them eventually turned into gratitude because they had my best interest in mind and kept my goals sticky.

 

Your Thoughts?

I really want to know some of your thoughts. What is one thing you wish you knew about ADHD growing up? Why is it so helpful to you now?

Bio:

Kyle coaches and consults with corporate professionals with ADHD. He has worked with several C-suite executives, middle management, and other corporate professions. You can subscribe to his newsletter at Cubefulness.com

 

How to improve your relationships

 

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How to improve your relationships

Think of the acronym: GIVE to help you to easily remember the four things you can do regularly to keep your relationship fresh and happy.

Gentle

Be gentle with your partner. Don’t shout or ridicule them. Treat them with respect and kindness. The more you do this, the more you will find it returned to you… and if you don’t it might not be the right relationship to be in.

Don’t attack, threaten or be judgemental. Accept the occasional “no” for your requests.

Interested

Show interest in the other person’s life. Really listen to them when they talk to you. Part of the wonder of being in a relationship is sharing life and experiences. Use reflective listening where you repeat back what you have heard. We all live busy lives and we can end up becoming complacent in our relationships. Make the effort to show the person you care about that you are interested in them – in what they do, as well as in their hopes and aspirations.

Validate

This is an important one. Give the other person positive feedback and compliment them. Show love and express your feelings. Communication – regular, open and honest is one of the most positive characteristics of a successful relationship. A relationship is far more likely to last when there is regular communication about feelings and emotions, not just about whose turn it is to put the bins out.

Easy

See the funny side of life and be forgiving. No one is perfect. Never take yourself too seriously. Sometimes, using humour is a great way to diffuse conflict. Have an easy going attitude, smile and be playful as much as possible. Inject regular fun into your relationship to keep it lighthearted.

Relationships take work, put effort in and you will be rewarded. Everyone likes to feel loved and appreciated.

Mandy X