Living or existing?

 

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Living or Existing?

Are you living or existing? Have you become part of the living dead? I see it all the time. people sleep walking through their lives seemingly oblivious to the finite nature of their lives.

It’s easy to end up existing. We fool ourselves by promising that we will be happy when we get that job, finish that degree or find that perfect partner.We delay happiness and think about a point in the future when it will all be okay. What’s wrong with the present moment? Or, we settle for second best. We stay in sub-par relationships and refuse to look at the reality of the situation. Humans are creatures of habit and we don’t enjoy change. Instead of being brave, we lie to ourselves and stay in relationships, jobs, life situations that no longer inspire us. This is short sighted and foolish.

Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. Go after what you really want. Dust off those dreams and find a way to get closer to them.Live a life that matches your full potential – you deserve nothing less!

Mandy X

Photo by exoimperator

What is mental wealth?

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What is mental wealth?

Mental wealth is just as important as mental health. Mental health is the physiological functioning of the brain and nervous system. Mental wealth is how successful you are at managing the content of your mind. I’m going to share a few strategies with you to enable you to become more mentally wealthy:

Don’t take thoughts seriously. Thoughts aren’t facts. Learn to dismiss them. There will be more along to cloud your mind before you know.

Attention training. Be aware of where your focus is. We tend to focus on things that confirm our existing beliefs about the world. If we see the world as nasty, we will look for examples to confirm this. This is known as confirmation bias. Be aware of what you focus on as it grows and seems more real. The alternative may be true too if you focus on it.

Real worry vs hypothetical worry. When you worry ask yourself if you are focusing on a “what if” worry (hypothetical – it might not happen) or a real worry. An example of real worry would be – your washing machine breaking down. It requires attention now. Know the difference and let go of the hypothetical worries.

Understand that most thoughts are nonsense. We have over 80 000 thoughts every day and most are a waste of your attention. Learn to let go.

Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Monitor thoughts for a better quality of life. Focus on the ones that work for you – the positive ones. Let the negative ones go. Watch for errors in thinking such as: overgeneralising, personalising, black and white thinking, catastrophising, mind reading etc – all a waste of energy and attention.

How the brain misinterprets stimuli (old brain – primitive). Sometimes the brain sends us false alarms – know the difference. At times we feel stressed out – we blush, sweat, feel tense, get heart palpitations but often, it is just modern day stress being interpreted by the old brain (the amygdala and hypothalamus) as real danger. Unless there is a real threat such as a lion or a bomb etc..learn to recognise it as a false alarm. The unconscious does not know the difference. It interprets stress as one thing – danger.

Mindfulness – be present in the moment. Learn to engage your senses in what you are doing right now instead of constantly living in the past or the future.

Follow the above and you will be one of the few who practices mental wealth techniques!

Mandy X

 

Do what’s in your heart

 

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Photo by GU / 古天熱

Do what’s in your heart

Inner wisdom is so underrated. When you do what’s in your heart and you follow your instinct, amazing things happen. The thing is, we tend to ignore that wise inner voice that is trying to tell us something. That gut feel nudges us to do something or to refrain yet we carry on regardless.

When you do what’s in your heart, you are more likely to experience a positive outcome than if you ignore what’s in your heart. I have taken note over the past few years of this theory and have found from my own personal experience that when I tune in to my instincts, it usually guides me in the right direction.

 

 

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When you meet someone for the first time, you make a judgement about them. How often have you found that your initial assumption was correct? The more emotional intelligence you have, the easier this will be. People with autism might find this harder but most people, who have empathy for others and are generally good with people should trust their instincts more. As it is with most things in life, some of us are better at things than others. Listen, tune in and see how effective your inner wisdom is in guiding. It is a skill that can be improved upon.

I believe that we give off energy, there are some people I immediately feel closer to and more connected to than others. Psychologists still can’t fully explain this phenomenon and I believe there are dynamics at work that we don’t fully understand. They are there nonetheless and if we can harness this energy and use it to guide and inform us we will be better placed to make good healthy decisions in life.

Mandy X