Blog on emotional well being and personal development

Always seeking love

Always seeking love

It’s a fundamental human need – love. Most of us are always seeking love. Yet, when we get it, love often isn’t quite how we expected it. Hollywood portrays an unrealistic image of love in the movies and we aspire to this kind of love. Always seeking love can leave us feeling empty as if we need something outside ourselves to feel whole.

What is love? It is different things to different people. True unconditional love is actually quite scarce but it is will be found more often in parental love than romantic love.

That is why it is futile if you expect to find the love you didn’t get as a child. No adult can give you that parental love. You can still find wonderful love but it will never be the same quality. I wasn’t loved as a child and I was always seeking love from the wrong people.  I have accepted that I have very high expectations of love and no one would ever live up to that. I have also learned to give myself some of the love I never got and have learned how to re-parent myself and accept the faults my parents had.

Once I did this, I opened the way to a real love that actually exists. I still have to fight my unrealistic views constantly. I find myself saying “If they loved me they would do this for me..they would do that for me” and often I have been completely unrealistic about what I think love is. This often happens when you grow up in an environment that lacks love. You don’t get to see it in action and you end up with this idealistic idea of how love should be.

So, I guess I have found love now and I am making it work. I still feel let down at times but I can question it now and decide whether I am being reasonable or buying into some ideal or Hollywood symbol of perfectionism that doesn’t exist.

Love is there, love can be yours. Find it and accept it with it’s flaws and understand that even when people love you they can’t meet every single need you may have. It’s your job to figure that one out.

Mandy X


2 thoughts on “Always seeking love”

  • Mandy, do you think some people just don’t know how to love? They think they are, but when the newness of it wears off, or they get what they needed out of the situation, it all just fades away and they’re done. I’ve discovered over a lifetime that there are all kinds of love. Sometimes, I think the best one is the one built on mutual respect and caring rather than love. What do you think? I’m not sure I know what it is to truly be in love so I’m not sure I can be. Is that a possibility? xo

    • Hi Amy
      Yes, there are different kinds of love (read the book “Languages of Love”) and some people perceive love as quite basic. Some people are more needy, others less so. Some have emotional empathy, others don’t.
      The trick is to find someone who is compatible to you and this can be quite a challenge! Mandy XX

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