Letting go of toxic people
We all want to be loved and accepted deep down and we all enjoy a sense of connection with others but there comes a time when letting go of toxic people is the only way forward.
Toxic people leave you feeling bad about yourself. They find it very difficult to take well meaning behaviour at face value and will always be looking for a way to blame or ‘project’ their own misery onto others.
They will tell you how you feel and make accusations such as “you never liked me anyway”. They are masters at creating angst and instability in their personal relationships with others. The sooner you realise you are dealing with a toxic person, the sooner you can let go.
Forget trying to change them. Most toxic people are hard wired to see themselves as victims. They rarely take any responsibility for where they are in life and will often blame others for their unhappy circumstances.
Sadly, toxic people are often victims of a miserable, neglectful childhood but unlike stronger healthier individuals who take personal responsibility, these individuals forge a passive life blaming others for everything. They essentually give their power away to others and believe that they have no power to change their life. Dysfunctional thinking keeps them in a limited space where they never find happiness. They tend to drink too much and display poor problem solving skills. They also tend to struggle to regulate their emotions and act before thinking.
It is almost impossible to change someone who is toxic and miserable. You cannot change their thinking. The best thing you can do is accept the situation and let go. You will save yourself a lot of grief in the long run.
Photo by M. Pratter