Category Archives: self improvement

Ways to learn more about ourselves and reach our true potential

Do what’s in your heart

 

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Photo by GU / 古天熱

Do what’s in your heart

Inner wisdom is so underrated. When you do what’s in your heart and you follow your instinct, amazing things happen. The thing is, we tend to ignore that wise inner voice that is trying to tell us something. That gut feel nudges us to do something or to refrain yet we carry on regardless.

When you do what’s in your heart, you are more likely to experience a positive outcome than if you ignore what’s in your heart. I have taken note over the past few years of this theory and have found from my own personal experience that when I tune in to my instincts, it usually guides me in the right direction.

 

 

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When you meet someone for the first time, you make a judgement about them. How often have you found that your initial assumption was correct? The more emotional intelligence you have, the easier this will be. People with autism might find this harder but most people, who have empathy for others and are generally good with people should trust their instincts more. As it is with most things in life, some of us are better at things than others. Listen, tune in and see how effective your inner wisdom is in guiding. It is a skill that can be improved upon.

I believe that we give off energy, there are some people I immediately feel closer to and more connected to than others. Psychologists still can’t fully explain this phenomenon and I believe there are dynamics at work that we don’t fully understand. They are there nonetheless and if we can harness this energy and use it to guide and inform us we will be better placed to make good healthy decisions in life.

Mandy X

 

 

Thoughts on failure

 

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Thoughts on failure

What are your thoughts on failure? Is it a lack of financial success? Is it owning a small house or being single? We all have different ideas about failure and the beliefs we cling to will determine how negatively failure impacts upon us.

Many of my clients blur the lines of failure. They blur the lines between failure being a verb and failure being a noun. I will often hear them say “I am a failure”. This is the number one rule about the concept of failure: Failure is a verb. A person isn’t a failure. Negative thoughts can create intense negative emotions, so spare yourself the grief by being aware of the nature of your thoughts. Never ever see yourself as a failure. Yes, perhaps something to tried to do didn’t work out but that certainly doesn’t equate to the ‘doer’ as a failure. Big difference!

In my books, life is a series of trial and error. We win some, we lose some. Failures show that we are alive and that we are trying. I see that as commendable. I view failure as giving up completely. If you are still trying and haven’t let life beat you down, you aren’t failing.

See failure as your friend. When you look at the process of failure as a a valuable lesson, you will no longer fear making mistakes and…well…failing.

Get living and get failing and see that as success!

 

Mandy X

 

The best relationships

 

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The best relationships

What sets apart average relationships from the best relationships? Staying in a sub standard relationship is common although this will inevitably lead to unmet needs and resentment over time.

Communication

Talk and talk and then talk some more. Always express yourself in an assertive way. The more you ask for what you want and practise reflective listening, the better your relationship will be. Communication is a two way street.

No playing games

When we don’t talk and ask for what we want, we tend to find other less obvious ways to get our point across. This can emerge in the form of passive aggressive behaviour. Any behaviour designed to manipulate is dangerous for a relationship. A straight forward, honest and open approach is the healthiest way to behave in a good relationship. Be assertive and don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Ask if you aren’t sure.

Fun

Don’t allow the relationship to go stale, The best relationships enjoy fun and relaxed times. Monotony can get in the way and the mundane can bring about boredom. Keep it interesting.

Intimacy – Sex!

Sex keeps a relationship fresh and connected. It is the glue that binds a healthy relationship. If sex has dwindled, ask yourself why. Sex in relationships does change at times but as long as both partners are happy with the frequency, a relationship can still thrive. Problems arise when one partner feels they are sexually frustrated and this is where good communication and compromise helps.

Best friends

Being great friends provides a fantastic solid framework for the best relationships. Relationships built on sexual attraction alone don’t fare as well. Know each other, like each other and respect each other – a brilliant combination.

Compromise

Two people with different backgrounds are bound to disagree from time to time. Learn to compromise and you will be able to navigate the tricky times when there is conflict. Learn to be flexible and have empathy for your partner and compromising will be a doddle!

Relationships take work. No one is perfect and negotiation will be a constant companion in a good relationship. Those who are able to adapt and give out love and compassion even when the relationship isn’t always in a good place will find they stay in longer lasting and fulfilling relationships than the average. Long may love last!!

Mandy X

 

 

10 Characteristics of contentment

 

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10 Characteristics of contentment

Have you ever wondered how it is that some people just seem happier in general? The usual worries and life woes don’t seem to affect them as much as it does others. The characteristics of contentment can be attained by all of us:

What happy people do:

They live in the moment

They focus on enjoyment instead of constantly looking at how life can be improved.

Their minds are freer of worries

They assume the world is generally good rather than evil.

They focus on the beauty of life rather than the ugliness.

They experience life rather than constantly analysing it.

They let go of things they can’t control instead of hanging on to it.

They learn from their mistakes instead of dwelling on them.

They are open minded and accepting, not judgemental and closed to new ideas.

They tend to be optimistic rather than bitter and pessimistic.

Contented people tend to possess psychological flexibility. They can view the world from many different angles and this helps them to minimise stress and anxiety. The more rigid your thinking is, the more quickly your ‘rules’ about the world will be broken, leading to anxiety. Learn to think about the world in a flexible manner and you will find you can withstand stress far more. The more adaptable you are, the more resilient you will be.

Mandy X