Tag Archives: ambition

Think big

ambition photo

Think big

It’s important to think big because you often get what you expect in life. This may not always work in terms of expecting fame and a ferrari and getting it but it definitely works in reverse. If you have low expectations, you will almost certainly live a life of disappointment and low achievement. That’s fine if you are happy with that, but many aren’t.

I remember driving through a wealthy suburban area a few years back with a friend. As we drove around looking at the mansions, my friend said “Wow, it really is fantasy. I could never have this. This is another world”. I couldn’t help but think he was severely limiting himself by not thinking big. Why not aspire to have success, wealth, popularity etc. You may not always get what you want, but you most certainly will never get it if you set your sights very low.

Expect good things in your life and try to find ways to achieve them. Often fear prevents us from trying and we remain avoidant. For me, failure is allowing fear to win. When I embrace and overcome fear, that in itself feels exhilarating even if I fail in my attempts.

So think big and get out there and be brave. Go after what you want and don’t fear failure. Fear avoidance and settling for less than you deserve, or less than you are capable of achieving.

Mandy X

Tips for creating goals

 

goals

Tips for creating goals

 

  • Small decisions can have a great impact that help you work towards your goal. Remember that your goals are your road maps and your direction to success in life. Without them, you can lose your way. Although you can always retrace your steps, you might not have the time, opportunity, energy or resources you once had when you could have made your goals happen one by one.
  • Listen to people who you respect and ask for their advice. Remember, you don’t have to like the person to respect them.
  • Being active in life is most effective. Try visualizing the outcome at a time in the future. It will become apparent that to set definite time in the future is obtainable. That would be the “when”. The “How” comes with gathering information about resources and education. We often have to correct our course but at the same time keep a focus on our vision or dream. To began a journey starts with a step but it is just as important to know where you want to go as well as to have a specific plan about how you will get there. The more specific the steps, the better. Keep in mind that when you start the journey you will most likely  encounter objections and self doubt. That is why developing the habit of the daily motivational pep talk can help you to stay focused.
  • Make your goals SMART. S = specific, M = measurable, A = achievable, R = realistic, T = time bound
  • Examples:  Specific: lose weight

Measurable: 5 kilograms

Achievable = expecting to lose 10 kilos in one week is not achievable

R = realistic – lose 5 kilos over next month instead of losing 5 kilos in one week

T = time bound..lose 5 kilos over one month

As specific and with an easy way to see whether you have achieved the goal.

Goals, short term and long term help to give us purpose in life. Always have something to work towards, it can stave off depression and help you to feel more focused in life. Make sure the goals are personal to you and not goals that others wish you to achieve.

Mandy X

Filling the void

 

void

Filling the void

 

Sometimes life feels so empty, like something is missing but I’m not quite sure what. As if I am missing out on a big secret that everyone else knows about and I don’t. Of course, this isn’t really the case because when I have deep and meaningful conversations with friends they often tell me they feel the same way at times. They too experience loneliness (even when they are with others) and a feeling that they are missing out on something. A feeling that leaves them feeling there is still a void to be filled. So what is it?

I often thought my ‘void’ came from a troubled childhood. One where I was criticized and never quite felt loved and cherished. Perhaps the idea that I am not loveable is something that I still try to ‘fix’. If I just find the right partner who loves me in a way that makes me feel accepted and cherished, or find the right job with just the right amount of praise and status….Perhaps that is the void I am trying to fill. The thing is, I don’t believe the void can ever be filled by an external source. We fool ourselves into thinking that external validation will be the elixir we seek but the truth seems to be that despite external validation, there always seems to be something more to strive for.

I have come across many people who have felt the same way. Often, they would tell me that their parents pushed them to achieve and without realising it, created adults that never felt good enough. So maybe it’s that we all have this desire to feel whole and content and keep searching for this desirable feeling of wholeness. The other thing to consider of course is that perhaps this perpetual state of wholeness doesn’t actually exist.

I have had moments where I feel incredibly at peace and contented…it’s a wonderful feeling but it permeates for a while and then disappears, leaving me feeling anxious or incomplete once more. Maybe that is just how life is and when we accept that the void is just a part of life, we can get on with the process of living and being instead of chasing and wanting.

Mandy X

Why setting goals is a good thing

 

goals photo

Why setting goals is a good thing

When you set goals and work towards them you place yourself in the minority of people that ‘do’ instead of just talking. Everyone wants to be successful and progress but many aren’t prepared to make the effort. Actions, not words are key to attaining goals.

Setting goals show that you are taking responsibility for your life. You are putting objectives in place instead of hoping they will appear or that someone else might give them to you. People who don’t set goals tend not to take responsibility for themselves and often don’t end up achieving the things they want to.

Setting goals for yourself also shows that you are willing to take risks and that you believe enough in yourself to give it a go. I have found that many clients who find it hard to set goals are often the ones who feel unworthy.

Realising the importance of goals is another good motivator. If more people knew and understood that their hopes, dreams and plans, all their aspirations and ambitions, are dependent upon their ability and their willingness to set goals, far more people would create goals for themselves. Many people chug along with no goals and no sense of purpose and this can increase levels of depression and anxiety.

Setting goals shows that you are willing to take risks and see what happens. We all fear failure and rejection but when we try,and even if we fail, we often realise that we cope far better than we thought we would and that in itself can improve our confidence and self efficacy.

We also fear criticism from others but you know what, you don’t have to tell anyone about your goals. Only if you want to. When you set goals you help yourself to conquer fear. Instead of allowing your thoughts to create fear of things that might not even happen, setting goals shows you are committed to finding a better life for yourself, showing that you aren’t prepared to settle out of fear. It’s impossible to succeed without failing.

Set yourself a few goals – they can be small or big, short term or long term but they will give you a sense of purpose and improve mental resilience for smaller set backs as you can comfort yourself knowing you still have your ultimate direction to aspire to. Goals add perspective.

Mandy X