Tag Archives: attention training

Focus on the good stuff

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Focus on the good stuff

There is always good AND bad to every situation. EVERY situation. Focus on the good of the situation you are in and the bad/negatives of what you don’t have. The default position for most people is to focus on the negatives of their situations and the positives of what they don’t have.
This is counterproductive and eats away at confidence. It is in your best interests to work in harmony with your circumstances and adapt your thinking.
For example, if you are in a relationship, you might find that you focus on all the negatives of being in a relationship and the positives of being single. How does that work for you? It probably doesn’t unless you make the decision to be single and take action.
Rather, to be more content, focus on the positives of being in a relationship: having a companion, having someone to do things with and talk to, not having to go to bars/pubs/clubs…whatever works for you. Think about the negatives of being single, having to make small talk and impress someone, the fear of rejection and so on.
This thinking will help you to feel a lot happier about your situation. It is a simple effective trick that can be applied to almost all situations. Alter your thinking to achieve an instant mood lift.
When your thoughts are aligned with what you are doing, there is cohesion which naturally promotes confidence.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparisons areĀ self sabotaging and don’t benefit you. It can work to motivate you and some comparison is natural but when it turns to comparing yourself negatively, this will affect your confidence and it is unhelpful.

Don’t assume others have a better life than you do

You do not know what is really going on. This is faulty thinking that isn’t based on any real evidence. Instead this type of thinking tends to be based on our own insecurities. Focus rather on bettering your own life and finding the true you. What is it that makes you happy and allows you to feel ‘in the zone’?
Remember that images on the surface are often far removed form what is truly going on behind closed doors.

Surround yourself with positive, inspiring people

Positive energy is contagious!!

Occupy your senses

When we feel vulnerable, our thinking can turn to worry and self doubt. Be aware of when you are in this mind frame and try to distract yourself. Engaging your senses stops you from over thinking and stressing out. By all means give your self ‘worry time’ (assign half an hour a day to focus on worry and problem solving) but put a limit on this and then get back to being resolution focused and pro active. It is a myth that the more you worry the less likely it will be that problems surface.
A few simple tricks that can help you to focus on the good stuff and limit the negative thoughts that you focus on can make all the difference. Make your mind and it’s content work for you and not against you. It’s a skill that can be learned and it will almost certainly improve your quality of life.
Mandy X

What is mental wealth?

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What is mental wealth?

Mental wealth is just as important as mental health. Mental health is the physiological functioning of the brain and nervous system. Mental wealth is how successful you are at managing the content of your mind. I’m going to share a few strategies with you to enable you to become more mentally wealthy:

Don’t take thoughts seriously. Thoughts aren’t facts. Learn to dismiss them. There will be more along to cloud your mind before you know.

Attention training. Be aware of where your focus is. We tend to focus on things that confirm our existing beliefs about the world. If we see the world as nasty, we will look for examples to confirm this. This is known as confirmation bias. Be aware of what you focus on as it grows and seems more real. The alternative may be true too if you focus on it.

Real worry vs hypothetical worry. When you worry ask yourself if you are focusing on a “what if” worry (hypothetical – it might not happen) or a real worry. An example of real worry would be – your washing machine breaking down. It requires attention now. Know the difference and let go of the hypothetical worries.

Understand that most thoughts are nonsense. We have over 80 000 thoughts every day and most are a waste of your attention. Learn to let go.

Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Monitor thoughts for a better quality of life. Focus on the ones that work for you – the positive ones. Let the negative ones go. Watch for errors in thinking such as: overgeneralising, personalising, black and white thinking, catastrophising, mind reading etc – all a waste of energy and attention.

How the brain misinterprets stimuli (old brain – primitive). Sometimes the brain sends us false alarms – know the difference. At times we feel stressed out – we blush, sweat, feel tense, get heart palpitations but often, it is just modern day stress being interpreted by the old brain (the amygdala and hypothalamus) as real danger. Unless there is a real threat such as a lion or a bomb etc..learn to recognise it as a false alarm. The unconscious does not know the difference. It interprets stress as one thing – danger.

Mindfulness – be present in the moment. Learn to engage your senses in what you are doing right now instead of constantly living in the past or the future.

Follow the above and you will be one of the few who practices mental wealth techniques!

Mandy X