Tag Archives: be brave

Just go crazy

 

be silly

Just go crazy

I don’t ever swear on this blog (although I do swear a lot in my daily life…tut tut) but I just need to say this – FUCK IT. Sometimes you just have to go crazy! It’s good to break out from all the rules and rigidity placed upon us and let rip. Go skinny dipping or run naked through the rain (as long as it’s warm enough)..or spend all day in doors watching moves and pigging out on your favourite food. YUM.

Seriously, there is so much pressure on us to exercise, be good, do the right thing, eat the right stuff blah blah..it gets so boring!! I don’t know about you but I get tired of all the formality and protocols forced upon us. The more people there are on this planet, the more rules there will be and the more personal freedoms will be curtailed. Something more positive now…

This post is about giving yourself permission to just go crazy. Live a little and stop suppressing your urges – just as long as you don’t plan on doing anything illegal! Thought I’d better just add that bit in – don’t want to be misconstrued.

Be brave – tell that person you think they are cute. Pinch a strangers bum…just go crazy. Why not I say?

Some ideas if you’re lacking your own:

Fart in a packed elevator (sorry I know that’s a bit naughty but funny)

Give a stranger a hug

Tell someone how much you like them

Buy flowers for a stranger

Pay for a stranger’s cup of tea/coffee

Run around your garden naked

Spend a day under the duvet with your favourite films and food

Throw a ‘sickie’ and take the day off from work – go do something fun instead

Buy yourself a kid’s toy – like a remote car, hovercraft etc…

Wear that crazy cardigan/jumper that no one else likes but that you love

Book that round-the-world trip..just do it!

Apply for that job that you don’t think you’re qualified for..what have you go to lose?

Say something outrageous (and possibly out of character) and then leave the room

Go on a roller coaster, bungi jump etc  try something new

You get the idea – just have some fun. Break out of those ‘shackles’ and be a little outrageous..be daring. I give you permission!

I’m off for a run around my garden now …

Mandy X

PS. be kind though and do no harm 🙂

 

Image: courtesy of Abundant Mama

 

How to face your fears

 

fears photo

How to face your fears

What are you afraid of? Do you avoid relationships because you fear rejection? Do you avoid job interviews as you worry you will fail? Fear is everywhere but it’s mostly in our minds. I know that seems a contradiction but it is only when you face your fears that you will realise that fear exists mainly in our minds.

We have a choice about how we want to view things in life. We can see the world as a scary place where others can’t be trusted and people are out to get us, or we can accept that parts of life are like that but we can still carry on and live life without allowing self limiting beliefs to limit our opportunities.

When you face your fears, you break down the huge threat that exists in your mind (eg. I will never be able to do that, that person is better than me, no one will ever love me, I am not good enough to do that, I will embarrass myself, no one understands me, I am the only one who is alone etc) and you build up confidence in your ability to cope with the tough times and your fears.

How to face your fears

Make a list of the things you fear. For example: talking to a stranger, opening up to your partner, going to the gym, etc

Rate each fear out of ten. Ten being the most stressful, one being the least stressful.

Example: Speaking to someone on the phone  2/10

Go shopping when there’s lots of people          4/10

Speak to a stranger                                               6/10

Ask my boss for a raise                                        7/10

Being assertive with a friend                               9/10

Telling my partner how I really feel                    10/10

Start with the lowest rated fears and begin working your way up. It’s all about baby steps. The more you face your fears the less you will fear them. Either, the worst won’t happen as you probably worry about and even if it doesn’t go well, you will be challenging the fearful thoughts and showing yourself that you can still cope.

Each step requires repetition so do each one regularly. The more you do it the less it will create fear for you. The less we fear the more opportunities we get in life.

If you think you would find it difficult to try the above steps on your own, speak to a Cognitive Behavioural therapist who can help you through the process. I have done it and it works!

Mandy X

 

Do the opposite

 

opposite photo

Do the opposite

We’re creatures of habit so we rarely do the opposite. It’s human nature to repeat the same patterns often without even realising how often we act in a certain way. Think about it. Do you always go down the supermarket aisles in the same direction? Do you always put your underwear on before your socks? How do you make your tea and coffee? The same way each time I’ll bet. And when it comes to more important things like relationships, we tend to behave in similar ways too.

When we feel insecure, some of us become more needy, some of us pull away to protect ourselves. When it comes to friendships, some of us act aloof, some of us try too hard.

Whatever your patterns of behaviour are, I dare you try shake it up and do the opposite. I am trying this in my own life and it’s working! Of course, you need to find out what you do out of habit before you can do the opposite. Being self aware is part of the issue, as often we race through our lives like rats in a maze, hitting our heads against the same wall every time.

Think of each time you do the opposite as a ‘life experiment’. Try small things first like a new route to the grocery store or go up and down the aisles in the opposite direction and see if you notice any new things or products. If you find that you end up in similar situations with intimate relationships and/or friendships, see if you can identify things that you do in each relationship and try doing it differently next time. See what happens..take a chance.

Mandy X

Feeling alive

 

feeling alive

Feeling alive

Make your time on this planet count. We will all end up leaving one day – the end result is the same for all of us. Feeling alive means that you are actively living life. not hiding away fearfully.

Many people seek to be invisible, to cause minimum fuss and fade into the background. Why would anyone want to do that? I am quite spiritual but I have no clear idea of what happens when we die. What I do know is that we can no longer ‘interact’ with others. We have no power to effect change or to influence others. Let your energy flow from you and make yourself be heard. Push the fears and anxieties to the background and do it anyway. Feeling alive can feel joyous and it can also hurt but it is surely better to have lived a life bravely, facing all it has to offer than to spend your life shying away from things.

Even if you humiliate yourself or end up failing/rejected, see it as a learning curve, a vital part of life that proves to you that you are truly living. Who cares what others think – will it still be an issue a few years from now? Other people  are far more self absorbed than we realise and spend most of their mental energy worrying about themselves.

The basic message  in this post is to be brave, ‘plug in’ to life and embrace failure, rejection and change. You have far more power and control over your life than you realise..choose to exercise it.

Mandy X

Playing it safe

 

playing it safe

Playing it safe

Playing it safe is probably holding you back. I come across countless people in my private practice who live fearfully. On one hand, it’s easy to see why. We live in a world where there is constant change and little certainty. We all seek certainty as much as we can and want to feel safe. In fact, feeling safe is often a huge motivator behind most of our behaviour – staying in relationships that no longer work for us or staying in a job that brings us little fulfillment. Insurance companies have never had it so good as we all try our best to insure ourselves against uncertainty. The world is inherently uncertain yet we fight and resist this every step of the way.

On the other hand…What about a radical new approach? How about accepting that the world is uncertain and that despite this we can still flourish and explore? I am not talking about being completely reckless…I am talking about harnessing fear and just getting on with life. The more we believe our fearful thinking instead of challenging it, the more powerful it grows and the less we try fight against it. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen?

Risk it in love – yes, just do it.We all get rejected and if you never ask you will never know. Even if you are rejected, learn to talk to yourself in an empowering way – it doesn’t mean you are defective, it’s just a matter of not being compatible with someone. It’s not what happens to you it’s what you think about it.

Risk it in life – make that silly joke in public, wear your favourite clothes to bed, wear your favorite perfume every day not just on special occasions, go out with clashing colours on just for fun…live as if you only have a few months/days to live…

Always have a Plan B for sure but then put your fearful thinking away and go for it. Often we overestimate the fear and the challenge and possibly a negative outcome and we underestimate our ability to cope. How will you know if you never try? Don’t be one of those people in their old age that look back with so many regrets. Find out what could’ve happened – do it now.

Speak your mind, tell people you love them, tell people you like them…find another job if the current one doesn’t work for you…don’t stagnate. You will be in the top 10% of the population of people who risk it. You will be ahead of the pack.

Don’t be afraid to experiment and try things, be more afraid of the consequences of not trying and living a smaller less adventurous life.

Mandy X

Don’t quit – a poem

 

brave photo

Don’t quit – a poem

This is a lovely to poem to read when you feel low and down trodden….hope it cheers you up if you’re feeling sad.    Mandy X

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

For life is queer with its twists and turns

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he’d stuck it out.

Success is just failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit!

  • Anonymous.

The secret to resilience

 

diamond photo

The secret to resilience

Self-doubt is an ever lurking presence for many of us. It’s easy to see why we all doubt ourselves in question our motives and at times even our own value and worth as a human being. I have found it quite intriguing as to how many of my clients as well as personal friends and family, who have admitted that one of the underlying fears is that they are not good enough. This is probably one of the most common thoughts we all share.

In a world full of people trying to make their mark, prove themselves and with so many of us and so many varying opinions, it’s no wonder we get caught up in self-criticism and self-analysis. There is always someone there who is ready to judge, criticise or have an opinion on something that we do. So the question is, what can we do to build resilience and a stronger foundation within ourselves in order to withstand the constant onslaught from others and the world around us?

The answer to this is simple-self belief. When we have self belief, this faith in ourselves carries us forward when no one else seems to support us. We all need validation and support but there will be times in our lives when this will be scarce and this is when we need to draw on our inner strength to move forward. Here are a few ways to foster inner strength and resilience to help us keep strong in the face of opposition and adversity:

Learn to trust yourself. Listen to your gut instincts more often.

Stop assuming that others always know better than you do or are more knowledgeable than you are. They may just be better at talking the talk rather than really backing it up with solid wisdom and/or talent.

Get comfortable with making your own decisions. You don’t always need reassurance before making a decision. Get out of that habit.

Take responsibility for your own life. Do not play the blame game or stay in victim mode

Question the source of criticism and judgement always. Do you respect the source of the criticism? Do they matter in your world?

Regularly remind yourself of how far you have come. Often we focus on how far we still have to go. Do yourself a favour and always give yourself credit for the journey so far.

Regularly remind yourself of the strengths and achievements.

Big yourself up talk to yourself as if you are your number one fan. It’s so healthy to like yourself!

Have a healthy relationship with failure-see failure as part of the process of self-improvement and a way to learn. You are never a failure..separate what you try to do/your behaviour- which may fail at times and you-the person.

Inner resilience needs work, it rarely just exists. Carefully craft your inner dialogue and trust in yourself more. Even if things do go wrong – you will soon learn that outcomes are rarely as catastrophic as you may have believed them to be and you will most likely cope, learn and move through the difficult times.

Mandy X

 

 

5 Reasons to stop thinking and just go for it

 

be brave photo

5 Reasons to stop thinking and just go for it

We all have to face difficult decisions in life and we can spend time agonising over which way to go. Should I do it this way or should I do that instead? Without ever knowing the exact outcome, we sometimes have to take a leap of faith, stop procrastinating and just dive in. Here’s why it’s important to take action instead of wallowing and prevaricating…
1) If you don’t try you will always wonder “what if”. Research shows that we find it easier to deal with taking action and then failing as opposed to never trying and wondering whatmight’ve happened. If you have the right attitude to failure, you will realise that failure doesn’t mean YOU are a failure, it just means that whatever you tried didn’t work out. It’s a learning curve – one option that didn’t work still leads you closer to your goal as life is a constant process of trial and error.

2) When you look back on your life, you will look at what you did with your life. You won’t remember exactly what you were thinking. If you live your whole life living in your head you will have very little to show for your time on earth at the end.See life as an adventure. The more you explore, the more you grow.

3) If you are waiting for the perfect moment or timing, think again – it will most likely never come. By all means, do a risk assessment and investigate possibilities. Knowledge is power and I am all for that but don’t spend endless hours trying to find the perfect solution or set up – it doesn’t exist. Life isn’t perfect and neither are you. Learn to test your resilience by getting stuck in instead of being a passive observer. Before you know it, life will have passed you by and you will have stagnated and will have achieved nothing.

4) Whilst there are no guarantees in life, your instincts and gut feel are usually leading you in the right direction. You have more inner wisdom that you probably realise. If something doesn’t feel right, make changes. Never hold back out of fear. If fear controls your decision making you will end up feeling powerless and without options. Acting on a decision is always scary but pat yourself on the back for doing it because you are then one of the ‘active players’ in life – one of those that refuses to ‘settle’ or accept less than they deserve.

5) When you are brave, the universe rewards you. maybe not immediately but fortune favours the brave. The more you ‘actively live’ instead of just chugging along, the more alive you will feel, the more people you will meet and the more opportunities will come your way.

It’s a no-brainer. Seize opportunities, push fear to the side and stop taking life so seriously. Throw caution to the wind and live a little…you’ll be amazed where it will lead you.

Mandy X

Photo by symphony of love

Photo by symphony of love