Tag Archives: chill out

Learn to let it go

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Learn to let it go

 

Life is a conundrum…even if you live by clear rules and try to do the right thing, that does not guarantee that anyone else will. During our lives we will all come across people who do not practise what they preach, who are dishonest, those that enjoy watching others fail and the general “down and dirty” types.
So, now that we have established that no matter who you are, you cannot escape encountering the ‘mean and nasties’ out there, let’s consider ways to lessen their impact:

1) One nugget of comfort is to remember that those people who project nastiness and anger onto others are usually very unhappy, miserable people in themselves. When they project negative emotions on to you, they are giving you a taster of what they feel inside. Draw some comfort from the fact that these people suffer with those feelings constantly – unless or until they learnt to manage their emotions more effectively and not take it out on others. Happy, content people do not feel the need to project negativity and misery onto others.
2) Try to limit your time with bitter, twisted people. Be sure to train yourself to identify those people in your life that drain you and manage your time with them well. Some people (I call them “emotional vampires”) will drain you rapidly, limit time with them.
3) Seek out those that boost your positive energy levels, inspire you and bring out the best in you! Fill up your positive reservoirs, this gives you the energy to tackle life.
4) Gratitude – tune into what IS good in your life. It can be so easy to get bogged down by what isn’t working but this thinking is not at all helpful. Instead focus on all the things are working for you, however small.
5) Don’t allow those that have upset you to continue to have ‘power’ over you by continuing to let them stay in your thoughts and upset you, long after the event. Distract yourself, go do something but above all – remember that whilst they are in your thoughts, upsetting you…the real person is off doing something else, in all likelihood not at all bothered by you. Don’t let them WIN. Don’t think about them..emotions lessen over time.
6) Focus on what you can control.. empower yourself and watch your thinking. Try not to put yourself down or allow your inner insecurities or fears to get the better of you. take action, minimise the worry – they are just THOUGHTS, not FACT
LET IT GO…..

Mandy X

Photo by Lucy Maude Ellis

Why we all need to let go

 

relax photo

 

Why we all need to let go

There are so many opportunities in life to get all churned up about negative things that happen to us. The incident may be over but we relive the event in our mind over and over. A certain amount of thought is normal and natural but when we cling to something obsessively it begins to hurt us and possibly even cause psychological damage. Learn to let go.

We all need to learn to let go and acknowledge that we can’t control others nor some inevitable experiences that we don’t wish to have. All we can control is who we decide to let into our lives and how we react to others. No matter how wonderful, gorgeous or rich we are – we still cannot stop others from making hurtful remarks, from triggering our insecurities or from rejecting us – leading to us feeling unworthy or unloved. So, it pays to learn to let go of the things we cannot control.

How to let go

Acceptance is key. Some times bad things happen. It may have less to do with you than you think so try not to personalise other people’s behaviour. Sometimes, it’s all to do with the other person’s shortcomings and has nothing to do with you. Let go.

A good sense of humour is also essential in helping you to let go. Don’t take life too seriously. Learn to manage negative emotions and think about how you  might feel about things in a year from now.

Keep perspective. Good and bad is a part of life, sadness and happiness, ups and downs…learn to ride the waves and enjoy the highs, survive the lows. Don’t allow the ‘lows’ to turn you into an anxious, self loathing person. Let the lows help you appreciate the highs and also use the low points to teach you and strengthen you.

Realise it isn’t always about you – let go and don’t personalise. As I mentioned before – when life is tough or others treat us badlt, many of us (especially women) internalise this negative emotion and blame ourselves or see it as proof that we are unloveable, unworthy,…………….fill in the blank space!

Focus on empowerment – what you can do to improve the situation without the cooperation of other person (or outside influence, things beyond our control) where possible. Go out, make new friends, take up a hobby, spend less time with toxic people. Learn to let go and take life less seriously.

Mandy X