Tag Archives: commitment

Trust the process

 

trust photo

Trust the process

There are times in life when you just have to trust the process. There is a lot to be said for learning to let go of things you cannot control. Often, we resist ‘what is’ and exhaust ourselves in the process. Instead, the wise person sees the bigger picture and knows when to let go of the reins and see where the path takes him/her.

Example: “I will make that person care/love me”. We go out of our way to be someone we are not and fret over every small thing, fearful of rejection. We can be desperate to be loved and accepted and waste far too much energy on trying to make another behave/feel in a certain way. Actually – even without huge amounts of posturing, if there is a good connection, the relationship will probably chug along quite nicely. Learn to relax and trust the process.

It’s like being on a small sail boat on a lake. There is no wind and so you begin to huff and puff, blowing the sails with all your might to try move the boat. Eventually, exhausted, you give up.

The wise person trusts the process and accepts what they can’t change. Eventually a gust of wind will come along and move you along to your final destination. Life is similar, there are ups and downs, highs and lows and at times we have to accept where we are and stop resisting. You save a lot of emotional and physical energy that way. Keep perspective and see the bigger picture.

Mandy X

 

Photo by Eddi van W.

Relationships and commitment

 

romance photo

Relationships and commitment

There’s a myriad of reasons why relationships fail. Tears were shed on the proverbial couch today by Simone. She wants commitment, she wants marriage and her boyfriend doesn’t seem to want the same things. Time and time again I have witnessed this with my clients (and in my personal life). A woman likes to label the relationship, a man doesn’t. Relationships and commitment can always be a tricky area when expectations are mismatched.

In my opinion, if a man keeps coming around (this could apply to women too) then there should be no great need to define the relationship. Especially not for the first year anyhow. Once a woman tries to define the relationship and mentions the dreaded “C” word, the man invariably starts feeling trapped. He conjures up images of financial responsibility, of losing choice and this frightens him. I am referring to men here but this is becoming more common with women too.
If a woman leaves him to feel free, a man will be much happier to keep coming around. Then suddenly, it will gradually dawn on him that he enjoys being with his partner…he will grow fond of having her presence in his life and might perhaps even fall in love with her.
So, sit back, relax and see the bigger picture. As long as things seem to progressing in a good direction then all should be well in your world..
No one likes pressure and you’re more likely to get what you want by behaving in a laid back manner.
Trust me – it works

M x

Photo by DanGrebb

Reasons to love and commit to someone

 

happy relationship photo

11 Reasons to love and commit to someone

They love you as you are

When someone loves you, they actually like your strange little habits instead of finding them annoying.

They do small things without being asked

When your partner does small favours for you without having to, it shows that you are on theit mind and that they want to please you and make you happy – this is a very good sign.

You can tell them anything

When you feel that you can be completely open with your partner without fear of them rejecting you, it helps foster intimacy and a sense of unconditional love

You are best friends

When your partner is the first one you want to tell about an event in your life it’s a good sign that you are best friends.

You share the same sense of humour

When you can laugh at the same things it can help you to feel that you are a little team who ‘get’ each other in a way others don’t and this can make you feel closer as a couple.

Ideally, you have similar political and religious views

This is a bonus in a relationship but not not lead to a ‘make or break’ situation.

You are good emotional support for each other

Some people have more emotional intelligence and empathy than others, and it can be a real struggle in a relationship when one of you needs more emotional support than the other. Finding someone who is supportive and makes you feel cared for can be wonderful in world where there are few ‘soft places’ to fall.

You want the best for them

When you love someone you want them to be the best possible person they can be and enjoy it when they get ahead. You will do whatever you can to help them have an easier life.

If something bothers you, they will try to stop doing it

When someone cares about you and you have a complaint about the relationship, it will be important to them to try stop whatever it is that is upsetting you. Instead of denying what is going on or telling you that you are wrong, they will be mature enough to look at their own behaviour and how it may be contributing negatively to the relationship.

You miss them when you’re apart

When you aren’t together, they are on your mind a lot of the time. If you don’t think about them much it’s probably not a good sign or if you don’t look forward to seeing them after a break.

They respect you and talk to you nicely

When you truly love someone, you respect them and treat them well. This doesn’t mean you never argue or disagree but you tend to speak to each other in a respectful, loving manner.

Relationships can be wonderful but they involve a certain amount of emotional risk. Enjoy the intimacy and trust your instincts. Give a relationship a chance and don’t run at the first sign of trouble but also learn not to take too many knocks. Remember you teach people how to treat you, whether you react or not.

Mandy X