Tag Archives: relationships

The best relationships

 

happy man and woman photo

The best relationships

What sets apart average relationships from the best relationships? Staying in a sub standard relationship is common although this will inevitably lead to unmet needs and resentment over time.

Communication

Talk and talk and then talk some more. Always express yourself in an assertive way. The more you ask for what you want and practise reflective listening, the better your relationship will be. Communication is a two way street.

No playing games

When we don’t talk and ask for what we want, we tend to find other less obvious ways to get our point across. This can emerge in the form of passive aggressive behaviour. Any behaviour designed to manipulate is dangerous for a relationship. A straight forward, honest and open approach is the healthiest way to behave in a good relationship. Be assertive and don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Ask if you aren’t sure.

Fun

Don’t allow the relationship to go stale, The best relationships enjoy fun and relaxed times. Monotony can get in the way and the mundane can bring about boredom. Keep it interesting.

Intimacy – Sex!

Sex keeps a relationship fresh and connected. It is the glue that binds a healthy relationship. If sex has dwindled, ask yourself why. Sex in relationships does change at times but as long as both partners are happy with the frequency, a relationship can still thrive. Problems arise when one partner feels they are sexually frustrated and this is where good communication and compromise helps.

Best friends

Being great friends provides a fantastic solid framework for the best relationships. Relationships built on sexual attraction alone don’t fare as well. Know each other, like each other and respect each other – a brilliant combination.

Compromise

Two people with different backgrounds are bound to disagree from time to time. Learn to compromise and you will be able to navigate the tricky times when there is conflict. Learn to be flexible and have empathy for your partner and compromising will be a doddle!

Relationships take work. No one is perfect and negotiation will be a constant companion in a good relationship. Those who are able to adapt and give out love and compassion even when the relationship isn’t always in a good place will find they stay in longer lasting and fulfilling relationships than the average. Long may love last!!

Mandy X

 

 

You teach others how to treat you

 

conversations photo

You teach others how to treat you

Whether you are passive, aggressive or assertive, you teach others how to treat you. Doing nothing still sends a message to others.  For example – if you meet someone for dinner and they turn up half an hour late. The way you react to their lateness will send a message to the other person. If you ignore it, the other person will consciously or unconsciously make a note that you don’t mind them being late. If however you make a joke of it and let them know that you don’t like being kept waiting, it is less likely that they will keep you waiting in the future.

We inadvertently give off messages to others all the time, showing them how to treat us. When we allow unreasonable behaviour or abusive behaviour from others, we are in effect, giving them the ‘green light’ to continue treating us in the same way.

If you want to be treated with dignity and respect, make sure that you are assertive and make a point of telling someone what you will and won’t accept when they cross boundaries.

We are constantly testing others, even when we don’t realise it. Others are testing us too. Develop a strong solid core, know yourself well and you will be able to withstand manipulation from others. Make sure you know what your boundaries are and what you will and won’t accept from others and you will find your relationships a lot easier to deal with.

Mandy X

 

5 Signs of a Good Dating Chat Room

 

 

chat room

5 Signs of a Good Dating Chat Room

Some people will hear the words ‘online,’ ‘chat room,’ and ‘dating’ and immediately run screaming in the other direction. There has been a stigma attached to online dating in the past, but over the last decade, that stigma has lifted and the online dating community is thriving. Finding a good dating chat room can seem daunting, given that there are hundreds of websites out there, and the thought of being cat-fished is a shadow lingering in the back of most people’s minds.

So, here are some signs of what to look for when searching for a good dating on chat room.

1. Is it for You?

There are good chat rooms, and there are good chat rooms for you. A good dating chat room is subjective to your own interests, and finding the niche that suits your tastes is important. There are chat rooms especially for LGBTQIA+ individuals, for women, for men, for naughty chat, for people looking for flings and those looking for longer relationships.

Figure out what you are looking for, and that will help narrow down the pool of possible chat rooms available to you.

Now, some chat rooms are general and don’t cater to specific interests. These aren’t necessarily bad, but finding one that, for example, is explicitly for young singles looking for long term commitments will make finding a potential partner an easier process. Keep this tip in mind for the rest of the article.

2. Profiling

Even if you can’t find a site that tailors to what you are looking for, a good chat site will have some sort of profile system. Fleshing out your own profile makes it easier for people to find you. This works both ways. Knowing a few key facts about someone can help you decide whether or not you are truly interested in starting a conversation with them.

3. No Creepers Please

You knew this one was coming. Yes, there are people out there who are catfishing, or are just creeps in general. Almost any website with a chat or comment forum will have a ‘report abuse’ or blocking function. Before signing up for any chat room, look for how to report or block creepers and, if possible, find out how admin deals with them. If it is not in the FAQ or About Us section, then maybe pick another chat room.

No one likes dealing with creepers, and a chat room that does not let you block them is one you want to avoid.

4. Free or Subscription-Based?

There are pros and cons for both free and subscription based chat rooms.

* Paid services

Pros:

Paid services will most often have professional staff behind the scenes, which is good for when you are having issues with the aforementioned creepers or something as simple as tech trouble. Constant staff also means that the website itself will be kept in good order. Further, a paid service will root out most of the people fishing around for a lark, and those that are not old enough for a credit card.

Cons:

You have to hand over some hard earned cash.

* Unpaid services

Pros:

It is free, which is always a glorious thing.

Cons:

Free online services usually also mean that there isn’t a thorough screening process for signing up. Anyone can join. And boy, do I mean anyone.

Side note for both paid and free sites: There is also the fact that paid services will usually have smaller pools of active members and unpaid services will have more. Depending on your point of view, these can be pros or cons. If someone has paid to use a dating chat room, they are likely more invested in finding a partner – though someone equally eager for a relationship may simply not want to pay for such a service.

5. Chat options

Finally, a good dating chat room will have options for private conversations. It might seem self-explanatory for a chat room to have such things, but you would be surprised at how diverse peoples’ tastes can be. Some like throwing their profile into a crowd, others like browsing through listings and searching for someone who strikes their fancy.

Really, it is all about finding the right chat room for you. There are plenty of options out there, and there are just as many fish in the virtual sea. Don’t rush, take your time, and you’ll find the right fit.

Mandy X

Is it really possible to find ‘the one’ online?

 

find-love-online-dating-sites

Is it really possible to find ‘the one’ online?

Finding the perfect partner as a parent can be difficult – it isn’t just you that a potential partner would be taking on. But can you find ‘the one’ online?

As parents, our responsibility is to our children – but that doesn’t mean we should give up on finding love. Many of us are lucky to still be in a relationship with the other parent to our children but sometimes that just isn’t meant to be – and why should we give up on love just because we are a mother or father? The answer is that we shouldn’t! No one should have to give up on the idea of finding love just because they are the primary carer and in charge of another human being.

It can be tough to date as a parent – it isn’t just you that you have to consider at the end of the day – you seemingly come as a package deal and it can be difficult to bring up the topic face to face when meeting someone for the first time. This is where online dating is great. You can create your profile and be completely honest with those who view it so they will know all about you from the offset and are able to decide whether they would like to meet you or not.

We tend to punish ourselves and believe that no one will want us if we aren’t as carefree as possible but this simply isn’t the case. It can be so easy to find potential partners who are interested in you and aren’t at all phased by the fact that you are a parent – perhaps they are even a parent too. People talk about ‘the one’ as if finding him or her is a completely fruitless task but it really isn’t – and with the popularity of online dating now, you have more chance than ever to find someone who is perfect not only for you but also for your situation.

Technology means we are constantly turning to the internet more and more than real life situations – more people are using dating websites to meet people and arrange dates now than that are going out actively hoping to meet someone in their local bar or club. Online is where everyone happens to be and if we are thinking of looking for love, it is definitely where we need to be too.

I would concede and go so far as to say it certainly is possible to find ‘the one’ online – not only have you got the opportunity to be completely honest and truthful from the outset but you also are able to assess their situation too from their profile. It also can be done around your life and your hobbies – you can log on to a dating website from anywhere on your phone and check and reply to messages. Whether you’re sitting on the sofa after your children have gone to bed or standing at the school gates five minutes before they come out of their classrooms, you can log on from anywhere – and who is to say you won’t potentially find the one at this point in time?

Life is so busy now – we all have jobs to work at, families to look after and hobbies to do and looking for love often falls lower down our list of our priorities than the aforementioned things. However, we need to take advantage of the busy times in our lives and use those rare quiet moments to take a moment for ourselves and our needs – if we want to find love, we need to put in the effort ourselves even if we only take a few minutes per day to do so. Then we may hopefully be able to find our perfect partner.

Mandy X