Tag Archives: contentment

10 Characteristics of contentment

 

happiness photo

10 Characteristics of contentment

Have you ever wondered how it is that some people just seem happier in general? The usual worries and life woes don’t seem to affect them as much as it does others. The characteristics of contentment can be attained by all of us:

What happy people do:

They live in the moment

They focus on enjoyment instead of constantly looking at how life can be improved.

Their minds are freer of worries

They assume the world is generally good rather than evil.

They focus on the beauty of life rather than the ugliness.

They experience life rather than constantly analysing it.

They let go of things they can’t control instead of hanging on to it.

They learn from their mistakes instead of dwelling on them.

They are open minded and accepting, not judgemental and closed to new ideas.

They tend to be optimistic rather than bitter and pessimistic.

Contented people tend to possess psychological flexibility. They can view the world from many different angles and this helps them to minimise stress and anxiety. The more rigid your thinking is, the more quickly your ‘rules’ about the world will be broken, leading to anxiety. Learn to think about the world in a flexible manner and you will find you can withstand stress far more. The more adaptable you are, the more resilient you will be.

Mandy X

 

 

Happiness is an inside job

 

happiness photo

Happiness is an inside job

I have the words “Happiness is an inside job” on a plaque in my office. Whilst happiness can be influenced by external events – what we think about the world has far more power over our ability to be happy. Too many people believe that it takes something artificial to create happiness. For example – some believe that if they have more money or a romantic partner or a private yacht they would be happy. The truth is that happiness is a mental and spiritual state.

Start each day with positive affirmations like this, “Today is going to be a good day and I am going to be happy. The world is working in my favour and my life is unfolding as it is meant to”. Sending positive ‘primers’ to your subconscious helps nurture the positive energy and keep you on the right track mentally. Your subconscious has infinite intelligence – trust it. Discipline your mind and feed yourself with positivity rather than words such as “I can’t do that” etc

Experiments by psychologists have repeatedly shown that the subconscious will accept whatever it is ‘told’ and does not have the ability, like the conscious mind  does, to tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t. You can use this to benefit you. Your subconscious mind cannot argue controversially. Hence if you give it wrong suggestions, it will accept them as true and proceed to bring them to pass as conditions, experiences and events. All things that have happened to you are based on thoughts impressed on your subconscious mind through belief. Your subconscious mind is very amenable to suggestion – let this work for you.

Is fear and worry holding you back?Remember that fear is a thought in your mind. You have the power to think something different and feel less fear. Believe in yourself and talk to yourself in a positive encouraging way. Happiness comes from a quiet wise mind – anchor your thoughts on peace, poise, security and divine guidance and your mind will produce happiness. Keep your thoughts positive, loving and constructive and this will manifest in your life.

Mandy X

Recommended Reading: The Power of your subconscious mind and step to success – Dr Joseph Murphy

How to promote emotional wellbeing

 

happiness photo

How to promote emotional well being

Looking after yourself on a physical level is important if you want to keep your mind healthy and protect your emotional well being. The body and the mind are closely linked and both need to be working well and be looked after in order for a person to function well. An unhealthy body won’t help promote a healthy mind.

Think of the acronym “PLEASE” to help you remember important aspects of this connection:

PL           Treat Physical Illness

E              Eat healthy

A              Avoid mood altering drugs

S              Sleep well

E               Exercise

FOCUS

Monitor what you focus on. Humans tend to focus more on what isn’t going right instead of looking at what is working.If you hear ten compliments and one criticism, you’ll probably focus on the criticism. Work on having an attitude of gratitude and appreciation.

Watch your thinking and let the negative thoughts float by. Thoughts will keep coming, you don’t have to focus on each one. Pick out the helpful ones and dismiss the negative ones. Self limiting beliefs can be detrimental to emotional well being.

OPPOSITE ACTION

Do the opposite of what you normally do. What we resist persists. If you normally get angry and shout, try walking away or whisper instead of yelling. Try force a smile. If you normally avoid people when you feel down, force yourself to call a friend or visit someone.

Doing the opposite can help you to change your emotion.

CHECK THE FACTS

Are there times in your life when you have overreacted or where you have assumed something and been wrong? Always check the facts – thoughts are not facts. Looking for evidence can reduce the intensity of emotions. Ask yourself what triggered your emotion? What interpretations and assumptions are you making? Does your emotion and its intensity match the facts of the situation?

Always stop and take time out before reacting to something, especially if your emotions are running high. A little bit of time is always a good way to add perspective to a situation.

Mandy X

 

 

How to Promote peace and contentment

 

peace and contentment

How to promote peace and contentment

Be realistically positive

Sure, life has horrible bits, very horrible bits in fact, but you CAN learn the skill of looking for solutions rather than pessimistically going over the same things in your mind. When we churn the same information over in our minds without looking for possible solutions, we end up downtrodden and miserable. If there is no present solution to a problem, possibly due to the fact that it is something beyond your control, it is also possible to learn the skill of ‘mental shelving’. Put it aside, distract yourself but be firm with yourself when there is no longer any action you can take towards a situation. For example – someone has betrayed you and left you feeling hurt. If there is an action to be taken to alleviate or rectify the situation, do it. If you have done your bit and you are now waiting for a response or there is no action you can take, it is a waste of your mental and emotional energy to spend too much time dwelling on it. Focus back on the present moment and on what is within your immediate control. This takes practise and isn’t an exact science but it is a skill that can be learned and improved upon and it WILL lead you closer to peace and contentment.

You have choices

This may seem a harsh and blunt statement but you can CHOOSE how much you want a situation to affect you. The thoughts in your head and your attitude are your choice. Think about it. It is for you to decide what is important in your life and what isn’t. If you don’t want something to overwhelm you and be overly important, it doesn’t have to be. There is always a way to look at something, or a story you can tell yourself to make a situation appear less threatening or upsetting. The thoughts and beliefs we choose will affect the level an intensity of the attached emotions. Learn to challenge your thoughts, they are perceptions of reality, not reality itself and there can be a VAST difference between them. I see how clients get upset over situations and torture themselves for ages with their thinking, only to find out later that the way they viewed the situation was completely inaccurate and that they made faulty assumptions. They have therefore spent precious moments of their lives unhappy and sad when there was no reason for it. Be selective with the thoughts you decide to believe and focus on. There will always, always be another way to view a situation that will lead you to feeling more peace and contentment.

Limit time brooding

Ask yourself how long you want to spend thinking about something and letting it get the better of you. Ask yourself if this type of mental activity is helpful. Allowing negative, worrisome thoughts to stay for longer than necessary is purely a form of masochism.

Don’t take yourself so seriously

Learn to see the humorous side of life and never take yourself too seriously. See your time on this earth as a chance to experiment and have fun. The end result is the same and whilst you are here on this ‘physical plane’ you have the chance to affect those around you, when you are gone that opportunity is lost. Lose your fear, get out there and do what you want. Embrace fear and uncertainty and have a good laugh at the same time. If you take yourself too seriously you can reduce your chance for peace and contentment.

Be proactive

No one likes risking it, especially in relationships where we risk rejection and abandonment (one of my greatest fears!). Learn to be brave and express yourself in relationships when there is ambiguity. Put yourself out there a little, the other person may be just as scared as you are.

Test the waters gently if need be but dip your toe in. Live a life full of life lessons than one where you look back and feel you lost many opportunities. Instead of constantly reacting to another person’s moods, learn to set the tone and express your wants and wishes too.

Being proactive helps us to feel like masters over our destinies…we can sometimes be in the lead rather than passively going with the flow.

There are many clever ways to protect your mood and buffer yourself from the wild elements of life. This is goes on internally – it really is true: happiness is an inside job.

Mandy X