Tag Archives: dating

5 Signs of a Good Dating Chat Room

 

 

chat room

5 Signs of a Good Dating Chat Room

Some people will hear the words ‘online,’ ‘chat room,’ and ‘dating’ and immediately run screaming in the other direction. There has been a stigma attached to online dating in the past, but over the last decade, that stigma has lifted and the online dating community is thriving. Finding a good dating chat room can seem daunting, given that there are hundreds of websites out there, and the thought of being cat-fished is a shadow lingering in the back of most people’s minds.

So, here are some signs of what to look for when searching for a good dating on chat room.

1. Is it for You?

There are good chat rooms, and there are good chat rooms for you. A good dating chat room is subjective to your own interests, and finding the niche that suits your tastes is important. There are chat rooms especially for LGBTQIA+ individuals, for women, for men, for naughty chat, for people looking for flings and those looking for longer relationships.

Figure out what you are looking for, and that will help narrow down the pool of possible chat rooms available to you.

Now, some chat rooms are general and don’t cater to specific interests. These aren’t necessarily bad, but finding one that, for example, is explicitly for young singles looking for long term commitments will make finding a potential partner an easier process. Keep this tip in mind for the rest of the article.

2. Profiling

Even if you can’t find a site that tailors to what you are looking for, a good chat site will have some sort of profile system. Fleshing out your own profile makes it easier for people to find you. This works both ways. Knowing a few key facts about someone can help you decide whether or not you are truly interested in starting a conversation with them.

3. No Creepers Please

You knew this one was coming. Yes, there are people out there who are catfishing, or are just creeps in general. Almost any website with a chat or comment forum will have a ‘report abuse’ or blocking function. Before signing up for any chat room, look for how to report or block creepers and, if possible, find out how admin deals with them. If it is not in the FAQ or About Us section, then maybe pick another chat room.

No one likes dealing with creepers, and a chat room that does not let you block them is one you want to avoid.

4. Free or Subscription-Based?

There are pros and cons for both free and subscription based chat rooms.

* Paid services

Pros:

Paid services will most often have professional staff behind the scenes, which is good for when you are having issues with the aforementioned creepers or something as simple as tech trouble. Constant staff also means that the website itself will be kept in good order. Further, a paid service will root out most of the people fishing around for a lark, and those that are not old enough for a credit card.

Cons:

You have to hand over some hard earned cash.

* Unpaid services

Pros:

It is free, which is always a glorious thing.

Cons:

Free online services usually also mean that there isn’t a thorough screening process for signing up. Anyone can join. And boy, do I mean anyone.

Side note for both paid and free sites: There is also the fact that paid services will usually have smaller pools of active members and unpaid services will have more. Depending on your point of view, these can be pros or cons. If someone has paid to use a dating chat room, they are likely more invested in finding a partner – though someone equally eager for a relationship may simply not want to pay for such a service.

5. Chat options

Finally, a good dating chat room will have options for private conversations. It might seem self-explanatory for a chat room to have such things, but you would be surprised at how diverse peoples’ tastes can be. Some like throwing their profile into a crowd, others like browsing through listings and searching for someone who strikes their fancy.

Really, it is all about finding the right chat room for you. There are plenty of options out there, and there are just as many fish in the virtual sea. Don’t rush, take your time, and you’ll find the right fit.

Mandy X

The one sure-fire way to meet dates, guaranteed

 

dating photo

The one sure-fire way to meet dates, guaranteed

Description: We detail the one tried-and-true method to guaranteed to land you a perfect date.

Meeting other singles and landing dates is less about finding the perfect place at the perfect time and more about the tried and true cliché: Put. Yourself. Out. There. And we mean that. Set an intention and practice, practice, practice. It will become easier with time, and if you want something, go and get it. In any way, shape or form, make yourself known. What, besides your pride, do you have to lose? Once it is out of the way, a new, confident and authentic you can emerge, and that you knows how to get yourself a date.

Don’t consider yourself to be a social creature? Strip off your fear and be bold.

Break that mold. Go somewhere that’s introvert-friendly, like a coffee shop, with a good book. Get hopped up on caffeine and sit in the cozy chair next to the cute girl reading on the couch. Ask her about the book she’s leafing through. Ask about her her views on the universe. Her favorite music. Be interesting and intelligent. Don’t worry if it doesn’t go anywhere. Consider it your homework. Consider it your networking: meeting people in order to meet other people, and in the process, meeting that lady of your dreams. Being friendly isn’t difficult once you get past that whole big fear of rejection thing.

Go to a bar. Get in enough coffee-shop practice under your belt, so you don’t have to get sloppy drunk before you strike up a conversation because believe me, that won’t work in your favor. Sit next to somebody who looks nice. Is it a lonely old man, and you are a straight guy in your 20s? No matter. Talk about music. Talk about travel. Talk about your grandiose plans for your life. Ask them about theirs. And maybe the cute girl sitting next to that old guy will catch wind and join in your jovial chatter. Maybe tonight will be your night.

Or skip the legal uppers and downers and think of the coolest, most interesting thing you’ve always wanted to learn about but never had the balls. Glass-blowing? Woodworking? Metalsmithing? Foraging for mushrooms? There’s a class for that. You may have to travel forty miles to the closest city to do it, but it will be worth it. Because if it’s the coolest most interesting thing to you, then chances are, you will vibe hard with somebody else in the class who also thinks it’s the coolest most interesting thing. And even if you don’t meet anybody, the next time you settle down next to a girl in a coffee shop, you will get to tell her about that impressive, crazy-cool passion of yours that you’ve recently honed.

Get on the internet. Sign up for a dating site like quickflirt.com. Set up a date with a hottie. And on that date, you will have a wealth of rad experience to draw from. You will be at ease with yourself, great at conversation, and be able to tell her about the insane war stories from the old man sitting next to you at the bar, pimp your interesting skill, and talk about the value of quality coffee. And all that experience, willingness to be vulnerable, and practice will have been worth it.

Mandy X

Is it really possible to find ‘the one’ online?

 

find-love-online-dating-sites

Is it really possible to find ‘the one’ online?

Finding the perfect partner as a parent can be difficult – it isn’t just you that a potential partner would be taking on. But can you find ‘the one’ online?

As parents, our responsibility is to our children – but that doesn’t mean we should give up on finding love. Many of us are lucky to still be in a relationship with the other parent to our children but sometimes that just isn’t meant to be – and why should we give up on love just because we are a mother or father? The answer is that we shouldn’t! No one should have to give up on the idea of finding love just because they are the primary carer and in charge of another human being.

It can be tough to date as a parent – it isn’t just you that you have to consider at the end of the day – you seemingly come as a package deal and it can be difficult to bring up the topic face to face when meeting someone for the first time. This is where online dating is great. You can create your profile and be completely honest with those who view it so they will know all about you from the offset and are able to decide whether they would like to meet you or not.

We tend to punish ourselves and believe that no one will want us if we aren’t as carefree as possible but this simply isn’t the case. It can be so easy to find potential partners who are interested in you and aren’t at all phased by the fact that you are a parent – perhaps they are even a parent too. People talk about ‘the one’ as if finding him or her is a completely fruitless task but it really isn’t – and with the popularity of online dating now, you have more chance than ever to find someone who is perfect not only for you but also for your situation.

Technology means we are constantly turning to the internet more and more than real life situations – more people are using dating websites to meet people and arrange dates now than that are going out actively hoping to meet someone in their local bar or club. Online is where everyone happens to be and if we are thinking of looking for love, it is definitely where we need to be too.

I would concede and go so far as to say it certainly is possible to find ‘the one’ online – not only have you got the opportunity to be completely honest and truthful from the outset but you also are able to assess their situation too from their profile. It also can be done around your life and your hobbies – you can log on to a dating website from anywhere on your phone and check and reply to messages. Whether you’re sitting on the sofa after your children have gone to bed or standing at the school gates five minutes before they come out of their classrooms, you can log on from anywhere – and who is to say you won’t potentially find the one at this point in time?

Life is so busy now – we all have jobs to work at, families to look after and hobbies to do and looking for love often falls lower down our list of our priorities than the aforementioned things. However, we need to take advantage of the busy times in our lives and use those rare quiet moments to take a moment for ourselves and our needs – if we want to find love, we need to put in the effort ourselves even if we only take a few minutes per day to do so. Then we may hopefully be able to find our perfect partner.

Mandy X

5 Top tips for dating men successfully

 

dating photo

5 Top tips for dating men successfully

Dating can be a minefield of mishaps and crazy failures. I have certainly had my fair share – from men asking me if I fancy them the moment I arrive (and being annoyed when I refused to answer) to rude uncouth behaviour – shouting at waiting staff and then proceeding to leave with a small piece of their lobster dinner still attached to their cheek! Thankfully I can look back and laugh at my absurd encounters – a sense of humour is always vital when dating. From my own personal experience, general research statistics that I have come across and my client’s experiences, I have put together a few top tips for dating men successfully.

  1. Never ever have sex on the first date ever

Some may disagree with this one. They would say – If you fancy each other, why not go for it? That may be true but if the relationship is the right one, a little self restraint can only be a good thing. Why rush it? Get to know each other a little first and tease each other – the wait can be tantalising. Many men I have spoken to have said they find it off-putting when a girl is to quick to jump into bed with them – it can show a lack of self esteem and also gets guys wondering whether you do this with every other guy. I guess you could call it double standards as men do not get judged in the same way. Nevertheless, it is a good strategy to live by.

2. See yourself as a prize

Tell yourself that any man would be lucky to be in a relationship with you, Think of your strengths and repeat them to yourself regularly. eg. Why wouldn’t a man want to be with me? I am funny, clever, affectionate etc etc

Watch the self talk. Feed yourself with a positive mental diet. You owe it to yourself and you don’t do it, no on else will. Men are captivated by confident women who seem happy in their own skin. Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Arrogant behaviour involves the belief that you are superior to others, being confident means that you like and accept yourself.

3. Trust your instincts

I would’ve saved myself a lot of headaches if I had just tuned in to my inner voice of wisdom more often.We pick up a lot more than we see with our eyes. If a man seems overly keen and wants to rush you – beware. If a man ignores you and seems unpredictable, this behaviour will probably continue. Don’t try make yourself ‘fit’ the man – if it is meant to be it will feel good and natural without too much extra work. Do they seem set in their ways? Do they listen to you or are they very opinionated? Do they seem genuinely interested in you?

4. Keep an open mind

When we have had a few negative experiences, we can be quick to judge someone new. Try to be as open minded and objective as you can with each new person you meet. Everyone deserves a chance. Watch those emotional barriers that you have put up.

5. Have fun!

Try to keep a sense of humour and not take dating too seriously. See it as a fun way to meet new people (especially if you are internet dating) and enjoy the experience rather than being too focused on the end  result – “I must find a partner to love me”. That will come – be patient.

If you have any dating tips, please send them as I will follow this post up with further suggestions on successful dating. Being single has it’s virtues too – enjoy whatever stage you are in.

Mandy X

 

internet dating

Internet Dating experiences – Fun Activity Rating 5/10

 

 dating photo

Internet Dating experiences – Fun Activity Rating 5/10

My internet dating experiences started out well despite being a little naive in my expectations. I imagined that I would find someone suited to me  and skip off into the sunset. I didn’t realise the dynamics that exist, especially among people who have been internet dating for quite some time. The longer you date online, the fussier you get. A mindset of “there might be something better out there” pervades and I became influenced by this thinking. Internet dating experiences become a little like going ‘people shopping’. I know that sounds distasteful but it’s true.

I did meet some wonderful people, some I am still friends with today and I had some amazing experiences that would probably never have come my way without internet dating as the catalyst. I also learned to be more thick skinned and philosophical about the rejections.  People would treat you like the most amazing thing to ever enter their life and just as quickly, they would disappear – never to be heard from again. Some men were married and downplayed the status of their marriage telling me they were separated when in fact things were still chugging along nicely with no intention of separation. Some people were much older than stated on their profile.

I met lawyers, doctors, pilots, CEO’s and some minor celebrities. Many of the men I met told me that on some of the websites there were many prostitutes looking for business.The irony was that the men who hounded me to meet up and sent me video messages, endless emails etc were often the ones that I would eventually agree to meet and then never hear from again. You have to be able to read people well to survive internet dating.

So, apart from some of the amazing experiences I had and the people I met and stayed friends with, I would say that ultimately, I would prefer to meet a man the ‘normal’ way – at work, through friends or whilst out and about. I truly believe that the types of people you meet in day to day life have a different mindset to people who have been internet dating over a long period.

I am not saying I would never try internet dating again but in terms of preserving my emotional well being, it may not be the best way forward.

Mandy X

 

Pick Up Artist Strategies

 

 

Oya G's

Oya G’s (Photo credit: Jaako)

 

Pick up artists have been around for  while now. The first time I heard about them was through a make friend who was reading Neil Strauss’s book titled “The Game”. It interested me from a psychological viewpoint and I thought it would be fun to share with you what I know about pick up artists and their methods.

 

I believe that some of these strategies could work and do work, however I have seen some men become so obsessed with the method that they have lost their personal touch and no longer relate to women in a genuine manner.

 

Here are some of the strategies:

 

Peacocking

 

This involves wearing an item of clothing or an accessory that stands out. A good example would be a bright, flashy tie, an unusual hat or even a feather boa. Jewellery can also do the trick. Peacocking paves the way for conversation and often pick up artists have women approach them first to comment on their unusual item.

 

Openers

 

Pick up artists are encouraged to learn magic tricks to gain female attention. I know of  few men who have learned a few tricks incredibly well. This is a great conversation starter and intrigues an audience as well as being fun. Another opener is to have photographs to show, with a story behind them. The more unusual and memorable the better.

 

Humour

 

I remember a male client who was into practising the pick up artist techniques telling me that humour tended to be a very good way to sustain the attention of women. Two of his favourites lines were to say that he worked either as a: lighthouse painter or a cigarette lighter service man. They are so unusual (and not true) that people are compelled to ask more.

 

Lavish attention on the one you don’t want

 

I found this technique intriguing and I could see how it would work. A pick up artist would go out and identify a “target” in the bar/pub/restaurant. The target being a woman that he would like to talk to, someone he is attracted to. Often, it is theorized that pretty women will be out with a group of people. Find a friend of the target and begin talking to her. The target will be used to having guys hit on her and will wonder why this time, the guy is chatting to her friend instead of her. This will become a challenge to her and perhaps trigger her insecurities, making her more receptive to the pick up artists attention when he comes round to her.

 

I have also heard about “negs” being used, such as – “does your friend always interrupt when someone is talking?” – A neg is a negative comment which helps to create value and diminish the target in some way. This again can trigger insecurities and reverse psychology comes into play here.

 

 

I am in no way way an expert on pick up artists and their strategies. The above techniques are the few that I know about but if you want further information, have a look at these:

 

Telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6987982/Pick-up-artists-online-seduction-and-dating-tips.html

 

Home

 

I wouldn’t take these techniques too seriously. Many men end up obsessively trying to pick up as many women as they possibly can and the very essence of meeting and connecting gets lots in the frenzy. Women with low self esteem are also targeted and treated in a misogynistic way which isn’t ideal.

 

Still a fascinating topic that I wanted to share – make your mind up for yourself…

 

Mandy X

 

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Speed Dating Tips

Speed Dating Tips

Speed Dating Tips

 

Want to increase your chances when speed dating? Here are a few tips to help you secure the date of your dreams..

1) Obvious one. Show up looking your best. Clean and well dressed with no slogans on your clothing. First impressions happen within split seconds of meeting someone new and you don’t want them to make up their mind before you have even opened your mouth.

2) Mimic the actions of the person you are talking to. When we mirror the actions of someone else we create the illusion of familiarity and this allows others to relax more with us and like us more. Copy the way they sit, their facial expressions and their hand gestures but be sure not to make it too obvious.

3) Decide on the people that you feel you have chemistry with and pick them as the ones you would like to see again. It isn’t a good idea to randomly tick everyone in the hope of getting a date. It can come across as desperate.Potential dates want to feel special and don’t want to feel you are spreading your chances by selecting every potential person there.

4) Don’t fall into the “too good to be true” group. This applies especially to men – if you are good looking and you earn a high salary, women might be less likely to choose you as they will believe that you won’t be a good long term prospect. This may be due to the perception that this man is likely to have too much choice. Play down the financial success for the meantime.

5) Avoid cheesy pick up lines or cliches like “so have you done this before?” or ” do you come here often”. Be genuine and be original.

Be yourself, be fun and see it as a great way to meet many new people and possibly a new love…good luck!

 

Mandy X

Playing Hard to Get

Playing hard to get - good or bad?

Playing hard to get – good or bad?

Playing hard to get - good or bad?

Playing hard to get – good or bad?

 

Psychological research shows that desire is related to the availability or scarcity of an object. If it is too easy to obtain we do not place as much value upon the item and the desire decreases. Stephen Worchel’s experiment involved handing a cookie jar with ten identical cookies to someone. He then asked them to take one, taste it and rate it for taste. The same experiment was carried out with others, but with only two cookies instead of ten, in the jar. Those handed the jar with only two cookies rated the taste as significantly better than the jar with ten cookies in it.

The same applies to dating. The more choice we have, the less each option appeals to us and we end up being a lot fussier than if we happen to meet someone through work or at the pub. The ‘tick-box’ mentality that influences our choices with online dating doesn’t apply when we are out and about meeting people randomly. But does playing hard to get increase your chances in the dating game? Well, yes and no.

Everyone likes to feel wanted and valued and playing hard to get can put potential suitors off. People who have low self esteem and confidence will probably be unlikely to pursue someone who plays their cards close to their chest and maintains a poker face. The older we get, the less we are into playing games and it can be refreshing to meet someone who is upfront and open about how they feel. Younger daters tend to wear their heart on their sleeve more than their older counterparts and this has a lot to do with having less emotional baggage. When we reach our 30’s and 40’s, many of us have been hurt and disappointed and have built up emotional barriers to protect ourselves.

It would seem the best way forward is to act friendly and interested but to variate our availability. Don’t jump at the chance to see someone each and every time they suggest it. Hopefully you have a life and other interests apart from this person. Acting enthusiastic makes others feel good about themselves and to most of us, this feeling is like a drug. We actively seek out people who make us feel good. People who make us feel great possess charisma and are always in demand. The key is to display high self confidence, like yourself and see yourself as a prize. This self acceptance intrigues others and we love to be around someone who is happy with themselves. They tend to be a lot of fun and spread that feeling around wherever they go.

So, work on the self love, don’t always be available and be kind, friendly and enthusiastic about others. Job done.

Mandy X