Tag Archives: detach

Why we all need to let go


relax photo


Why we all need to let go

There are so many opportunities in life to get all churned up about negative things that happen to us. The incident may be over but we relive the event in our mind over and over. A certain amount of thought is normal and natural but when we cling to something obsessively it begins to hurt us and possibly even cause psychological damage. Learn to let go.

We all need to learn to let go and acknowledge that we can’t control others nor some inevitable experiences that we don’t wish to have. All we can control is who we decide to let into our lives and how we react to others. No matter how wonderful, gorgeous or rich we are – we still cannot stop others from making hurtful remarks, from triggering our insecurities or from rejecting us – leading to us feeling unworthy or unloved. So, it pays to learn to let go of the things we cannot control.

How to let go

Acceptance is key. Some times bad things happen. It may have less to do with you than you think so try not to personalise other people’s behaviour. Sometimes, it’s all to do with the other person’s shortcomings and has nothing to do with you. Let go.

A good sense of humour is also essential in helping you to let go. Don’t take life too seriously. Learn to manage negative emotions and think about how you  might feel about things in a year from now.

Keep perspective. Good and bad is a part of life, sadness and happiness, ups and downs…learn to ride the waves and enjoy the highs, survive the lows. Don’t allow the ‘lows’ to turn you into an anxious, self loathing person. Let the lows help you appreciate the highs and also use the low points to teach you and strengthen you.

Realise it isn’t always about you – let go and don’t personalise. As I mentioned before – when life is tough or others treat us badlt, many of us (especially women) internalise this negative emotion and blame ourselves or see it as proof that we are unloveable, unworthy,…………….fill in the blank space!

Focus on empowerment – what you can do to improve the situation without the cooperation of other person (or outside influence, things beyond our control) where possible. Go out, make new friends, take up a hobby, spend less time with toxic people. Learn to let go and take life less seriously.

Mandy X


Detach from the Outcome


Cover of "Let Go"

Cover of Let Go

Learn to Let Go

Sometimes, it is best for the sake of our sanity to detach from desperately wanting a specific outcome. Especially if that outcome is something beyond your immediate control. Focusing on the process, how it feels and affects us, can bring a sense of relief and empowerment rather than concentrating on the end result. Often, we cause ourselves unnecessary stress by resisting what ‘is’ and wishing things were different. It’s easy to get caught up in believing that you know what should happen, how people should behave and how things should turn out.

Are you trying to control something or someone in order to achieve an outcome? Are you fearful that if you let go and let things unfold as they will that you will face something you don’t want? If things are really stressful it’s a sure sign that you are avoiding taking your hands off a particular problem because you believe you can foresee trouble ahead if you let go. This irrational thinking will contribute to exhaustion and more stress and anxiety. Your fear of the unknown keeps you hooked into the known, no matter how awful or distressing it might be.

Remind yourself that you can’t see into the future or know the whole picture. You only have your limited perspective to base your desires upon. In this way you exclude the guiding hand of the universal forces which are acting to steer you on to your best path. If you let go of specifics you can trust that everything will be as it should be. Put your energy into desiring the best outcome for your overall well-being and happiness.

Often fear of a negative outcome draws exactly what we most fear towards us. Have you been dwelling on a worst-case scenario? Are you fearing and preparing for what you don’t want to happen? Now is the time to give it up.

Put your energy into the process and be more present in the moment. The best Samurai was the one who concentrated on the fight and did not waste energy on whether he could win or lose. Be your own best Samurai and learn to focus on aspects of your life that are realistic. Detach from the outcome and learn that there can be comfort in not knowing.

Mandy X

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