Tag Archives: disappointment

Life sucks sometimes

sad woman photo

 

Life sucks sometimes

It’s a fact, life sucks sometimes. People come into your life and steal your heart and then leave just as quickly as they entered.It’s hard to open up again and take the risk of letting someone else in. Should you trust them with your fragile feelings? I guess life is a risk and you can protect yourself forever or you can be brave and try to let love back in again. Life sucks for various reasons not just due to fading relationships.

I am writing this as it is close to my heart and I like to use this blog to write about all sorts of things. My own life serves as inspiration for blog posts, especially when I know there are many others experiencing similar things. I try to use hard times to learn and apply my professional experience to heal. I use this to help others if I can and to support my clients going through similar things. No one is immune to life, no matter how much ‘wisdom’ and/or knowledge you have.

Being rejected for something you have no control over is tough. He loved me until I told him I had health issues and that was that. He hung in but not for too long. Heart break central! His loss…

You have to believe that things happen for a reason. Being philosophical can be a blessing in life. Some things are beyond our control – like the feelings and thoughts of other people.

What needs to happen – focus on yourself, the only thing you can control. Make the most of yourself, never put yourself down and know that you are special whether someone else recognises it or not. Don’t allow your value and self worth to be wrapped up in the validation from others. Easier said than done but work on loving who you are. Someone who doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t deserve you in the first place. A broken relationship leaves you free to find the person who will love you, warts and all.

Well, that’s what I tell myself and it seems to work most of the time! Life sucks but always remember it won’t (thankfully) stay that way. Visualise yourself in the future, happy and carefree again. Each day, every second – you are closer to that happier place!

Mandy X

When we let ourselves down

 

disappointed photo

When  we let ourselves down

We all want a better life for ourselves and there are always things that we can improve upon. We can get ourselves into a cycle of self-loathing when we have expectations about either losing weight, attracting someone from the opposite sex, eating more healthily, finding a better job and so on. The self-loathing occurs when we are unable to attain our goals. Most of us beat ourselves up over something that we have not managed to do. So why are we so hard on ourselves?

We actively stop ourselves from feeling happier when we spend time in our thoughts, thinking about everything that we are getting wrong for not achieving to the correct standards. The question is- who put these expectations there in the first place?

While it’s okay to want to improve, it’s not okay to actively dislike yourself until that point that you do achieve your goal. What a waste of precious moments that could be happier.

Sometimes our self-loathing comes from our upbringings. If we had strict parents who expect a lot of us, we may feel that we never measured up. We end up engaging in patterns of behaviour that we used when we were children and often these patterns of behaviour are no longer valid as adults. We choose what we want to believe about ourselves. How does it help us think the worst of ourselves? Well, it doesn’t-being hard on ourselves only makes things worse.

Instead of labelling yourself “fat”; “ugly”; “worthless”; “unlovable”… it is more helpful to accept that you are human with strengths and weaknesses, just like the rest of us. When we have confidence in ourselves, others accept us at that level. They do not ask you where your certificate is in confidence or feeling good about yourself, and believe it or not others are less likely to judge you if you do not judge yourself.

Many of us received ‘false’ messages as children that we have internalised and now use to describe ourselves. Now is the time to reset this…look for the evidence. You will find many examples to refute what you think about yourself – just look for them.

Choose to believe healthier and happier thoughts about yourself. The past cannot be undone but we can update our beliefs about ourselves. The kinder we are and the less pressure we place upon ourselves to be an improved version – the more likely it is to happen naturally.

There will be less guilt and less judgement – who wouldn’t want that?

Mandy X