Tag Archives: flawed

Your own worst enemy

 

 

worst enemy

Your own worst enemy

Being self critical definitely makes you your own worst enemy. Finding fault with ourselves and self loathing defies all logic. We are given the raw materials to work with when we are born and although we can improve ourselves to a point, there is no escaping our biology. Despite this fact, we all seem to make a habit of rejecting ourselves and comparing ourselves unfavourably to others. What a complete waste of time!

Think about it…why wouldn’t you want to get as comfortable with yourself as possible? We’re stuck with the body we are born into so it makes sense to spend effort on liking ourselves and working with what we’ve been given. I especially loathed myself in my teens and early twenties. I was extremely self conscious and hate just about everything about myself – the way I looked, the way I behaved…there was very little self love and acceptance going on back then.

It has taken me many years to begin to feel comfortable in my own skin and I know I am not alone in this. I find it a sad state of affairs though and if I could go back and give my younger self a wise message, it would be to appreciate my youth more and focus on my strengths instead of always looking at my perceived weaknesses. We seem to only appreciate things once we no longer have them. I regularly see pictures of my younger self and can see now that I looked pretty good yet at the time, I can remember feeling inadequate, fat and ugly.

Do yourself a favour and make friends with yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Learn to love all that is unique about you, no matter how weird or different. Celebrate who you are and maximise what you have with appreciation rather than self criticism. You will be amazed at how much happier and at peace you will begin to feel.

Mandy X

How to be your imperfect perfect self

 

self photo

How to be your imperfect perfect self

We live in a crazy world that is constantly trying to turn us into an obedient, conventional, conforming members of society. It takes a strong person to have the courage to go against the grain but it is often those that don’t conform that end up happiest, even though being true to yourself has it’s challenge. It’s often the harder path to follow but the most rewarding in the long run.

Stop pleasing others

You dilute your essence when you spend too much time trying to please others. Start pleasing yourself a little more. Those that are right for you will be able to handle it. If you try too hard to change into what you think is expected of you, you will end up unhappy and confused. You may even lose your identity – stick close to your natural essential self. Those that are right for you will fit in with you just fine.

Trust yourself more

Seek reassurance from others less. Get into the habit of believing in your own decisions and your own beliefs about yourself. No one else can make you feel inferior without your consent. If someone criticises the way you do things ask yourself if they are ‘qualified’ to comment. Reject the rules and laws others try to put on you, especially if you don’t agree with them. Trust yourself. Trusting in yourself and accepting the consequences of your decisions is what leads to greater confidence in yourself. ┬áKeep at it.

Like yourself

No one is perfect and we are all our own worst critic. Stop being to hard on yourself and learn to like the person you are. Sure, we can all strive to improve but get comfortable with the body you are currently living in. Why would you want to reject and resist what you have? How is that helpful? It isn’t…not in the slightest. Focus on your strengths and all the things you do love about yourself. The more you accept and like yourself, the more others will too. Nothing is more attractive than self confidence.

Identify your strengths

Regularly remind yourself of how far you have come and all the challenges that you have managed to overcome. You are still here, surviving – give yourself a pat on the back! Life is tough and you are still around to tell the tale despite all the failure, rejection and disappointment. You are far more resilient than you realise!

Stop comparing

When you acknowledge your uniqueness and you accept that we are all learning and experiencing life in different stages, you will realise what a waste of energy it is to compare your life circumstances to those of others. When we compare, we only have some of the facts and tend to compare the positives of other people’s lives with all our negative perceptions of our own lives – it very rarely benefits us and can lead us to feel downtrodden. Stop comparing – instead look at your own progress and set yourself new goals. Make sure these goals are the next step in YOUR own journey rather than a step to try keep up with someone else.

Believe in yourself

You are as good as anyone else. Don’t believe anything else. You matter as much as the next person. Believe in yourself, Be assertive and allow yourself to be heard. Get in the habit of expressing yourself – push those boundaries.

Spend time with people who inspire you and bring out the best in you. There are so many ‘social equations’ that exist – there are ‘people’ out there for you – your ‘kind’ of people. They will gravitate to you but only if you show the real you. Get brave, be yourself and celebrate the real you.

Mandy X