Good advice for a happy new year
I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time looking for ‘mental fixes’ and sure-fire actions to make life happier, smoother and more peaceful. However, no matter how hard I try I have not yet succeeded (and never really expected to if I am realistic – can’t help trying though!) in finding a specific formula tailored to dealing with the mad lives we lead on this truly insane planet. I have found simple ideas though that have helped me navigate life a little more easily. I may not have all the answers and I am learning all the time, but I am sure going to keep on trying to find better ways to live and share them with my readers. (You are welcome to share your tips with me too).
So, I have put together a list of good advice that I have come across over the years to consider as you go forth into another New Year. I wish you love, warmth, understanding and kindess…
- Live in the moment. By all means have long term goals but then avert your attention and focus back to today. Be fully present in your life and don’t check out of life and live for a future that hasn’t arrived yet.
- Give up comparing your life to others. We are all here to accomplish different things at different times. Success is not liner and success isn’t necessarily financial stability or a full social calendar either. The more you are true to yourself, the less you will worry about what others are doing. You might rejoice in their successes but you won’t use it as a competition or a reinforcer to remind yourself that you are failing.
- Stop overthinking. When you are in your mind you are in ‘enemy territory’. I like that saying as I have found personally, and in my professional work, that people can be very hard on themselves and tend to default to negative, self critical thinking. Use your thinking time to find solutions and make action plans. The moment you find you are ruminating over the same topic without much progress it is time to distract yourself and do something else.
- Maintain balance in your life. It is hard in modern times to find time to pamper ourselves and when we do we tend to invariably feel overwhelmed with guilt. Part of honouring and loving ourselves is accepting that we deserve love and care and that we owe it to ourselves to spoil ourselves – take a holiday, go for a massage…everything should have it’s place and a clear even balance between work and play must be followed if you want to function optimally in life. Get used to rejecting guilt – a wasted emotion that you can choose to reject.
- Choose your thoughts about the world wisely. What you want to believe or choose to believe will shape your world so it is vitally important to analyse and carefully craft what you wish to believe about yourself, the world and other people. Believe negative thoughts and “confirmation bias” will automatically show you examples in life of your negative thinking. Be open minded, not naive. Trust in good. You will be happier for it. Never give up hope and faith and positive perceptions even in the face of the opposite. I am not saying accept all the awful things that happen in the world but don’t let them define you and wear you down. When we focus too much on all the negativity we can become bitter and twisted. I counteract the negative events I come across by watching what I think about them and regularly give to charities and try to do my little bit to counteract suffering. We all have our own personal ways of dealing with things that upset us but never let them win and overwhelm you into seeing the whole world as bad and negative – all that will do is make you sad and angry and helpless.
- Have more fun and laugh a lot. Be adventurous, be daring and learn to try new things regularly. How else will you learn about your strengths and weaknesses? Get out of your comfort zone and meet others, try things you feel scared of. This is the best way to conquer fear and gain confidence and you will be able to look back on your life with fewer regrets and “what ifs”. Life doesn’t have to be that serious…
The above suggestions are just a few ideas. Please leave comments if you would like to add any of your own ideas that have helped you get through life. Don’t let the mean people grind you down, just feel sorry for them. Try not to take things personally and be wary of making assumptions – they are usually based on our thoughts and NOT on any evidence. We really can create our own personal heaven or hell by the thoughts we wish to ‘feed’ ourselves with.
HAPPY NEW YEAR..I am looking forward to sharing it with you!!