Tag Archives: happiness

Get self respect FAST

 

happy person photo

Photo by FootMassagez

 

Get self respect FAST

When you have self respect, you treat yourself well and you expect others to treat you well too. It’s a win-win situation, a no-brainer. So why is it that so many of us seem to lack self respect? When we listen to others too much and we don’t believe in ourselves enough, our self respect can wane. Here are a few ideas to keep you on track and to remind you to strengthen your resolve to be good to yourself and to have clear boundaries as to what you will and won’t accept from others.

Fair

Be fair, not only to others but especially to yourself. Show yourself compassion and talk to yourself in a positive manner. Be your number one fan. Learn to like yourself.

Apologies

Don’t apologise unnecessarily. If it’s warranted, apologise by all means but don’t make a habit of constantly saying sorry. This sends a message that you aren’t as worthy as others and that you need to make excuses for yourself. Often we don’t need to explain ourselves but we go into ‘people-pleasing’ zone. This can erode self respect. Learn to see yourself as worthy and as valuable as any one else. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to say what that is. Be bold, brave and confident.

Stick to Values

Never compromise your values just to be liked or to get what you want. Stand up for what you believe in. Decide what your values are and use them to guide you. Use your values to create goals. Purpose adds to self respect.

Truthful

Avoid dishonesty such as exaggeration or acting helpless as a form of manipulation. Be assertive enough to be truthful about who you are. The more you present yourself as you truly are, the more confidence you will have in yourself. When we try to be someone other than who we are, we are basically telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Be proud of yourself, quirks, faults and all. The more you stay true to yourself, the more you will realise how accepting others actually are.

Self respect is all about treating yourself well and not allowing others to mistreat you either. It is made up of a healthy dollop of self esteem. Like yourself, “act as if” if you don’t always feel confident. Behaving in a confident way can actually lead to it becoming a more natural state of behaving over time. You owe it to yourself to make the most of your life.

Mandy X

The key to happiness – your mind

 

joyful photo

The key to happiness – your mind

Your mind stores your memories and it also helps you to navigate life with wisdom and common sense. The computer/storage part helps us to analyse the world, compare things and relate facts to each other. The other part, the ‘transmitter’ deals with matters of the heart. It is the transmitter part of our mind that allows us to feel happiness. Unless we understand the value of the transmitter, we will falter when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, it just isn’t possible to logically think your way out of a problem using the computer part of the brain.

Learn to trust the intuitive transmitter, the quiet part of your mind that often ‘nudges’ you in the right direction. The quiet part that we often ignore in our quests to control parts of life that aren’t controllable (like other people – what they say and do).

Our minds can work for or against us at any given moment. Get used to tuning in to your perceptive mind (transmitter) – it is the part that helps us to be emotionally intelligent and connect with others on a deeper level.

Mandy X

Things you don’t need for happiness

happy photo

 

Things you don’t need for happiness

Here are things you don’t need for happiness and they will help you to be more aware that life can be simpler and more fun than we realise. . I have found that many people spend inordinate amounts of time focusing on these things that are inane in the grand scheme of things:

To have everyone liking you

You will never be able to please everyone and have acceptance/validation from everyone. It’s a fact of life yet we spend time trying to please others unnecessarily. No one enjoys conflict but it is a waste to believe that you can get everyone to like you. We all want to be popular but that comes naturally when you are happy in yourself.

To have complete certainty

Life is inherently uncertain and the sooner we stop resisting this fact and make uncertainty our friend, the quicker we will experience peace of mind. We can learn to tolerate uncertainty by placing ourselves regularly in situations where the outcome is unknown. The more we do this the more we develop and grow our resilience. Regularly placing ourselves in unfamiliar situations gives us proof that we can cope with uncertainty. Get out of your comfort zone and face uncertainty with a positive attitude. There is nothing to fear. Constantly trying to control your world around will just lead to frustration and exhaustion.

To be in a relationship

Some relationships make us more unhappy than happy yet there is a common idea that being in a relationship is better than being single. The trick about life is that happiness comes from your attitude rather than your circumstances. Happiness is an inside job. It’s what we tell ourselves about a situation that makes us happy or sad. Get to know yourself well. Know your strengths and weaknesses and know what makes you happy and put that at the core of your life. Once you have that stable foundation within you, life becomes easier and the right people will come into your life. You don’t need another person first before happiness will emerge.

Consistent happiness

No one is happy 24/7. Happiness is experienced as a fleeting appreciation in the moment, and then it slips away to a lower level intensity.I was in Los Angeles two months ago and  had a fleeting sensation of pure happiness. I was sitting by the pool in the sun with my music playing with a hummingbird buzzing past me every few minutes. The combination of the sun. music and this cute tiny bird made me smile from ear to ear. I love those fleeting moments when life feels really good. Some people believe that they should feel this way all the time but it’s physically impossible for the human brain to operate at that level continuously.

Achievement

Taking time out can create just as much peace and happiness. We are conditioned to believe that we have to be achieving to be happy but I also know people who don’t achieve in the conventional sense who are incredibly content in their lives. The trick is to know yourself rather than comparing yourself with society in general. This can skew your values and true aspirations.

Value as a human being comes from being happy and joyful – you will give off far healthier vibes to the world than if you are a stressed out achiever, doing something that isn’t really for you but that you think you should be doing in order to be seen as a valuable human being. That’s nonsense.

Lots of money

Research has shown that after a certain amount, the level of happiness does not correlate to the amount of money earned. As long as we have enough to eat, live and connect with others, happiness tends to stay quite balanced. I think the approximate amount is around £49 000 per year. See here for more.

Happiness is achievable for everyone – mostly it relies upon your optimistic attitude. That is always a good start. Life is tough at times and being optimistic doesn’t mean you have to always see positives but you can at least reframe a bad incident into something more digestible on an emotional level. For example – instead of catastrophising and thinking the worst, it is possible to find a story to tell yourself that softens the blow.

Mandy X

 

 

Photo by Britt Selvitelle

Appreciate the living

 

living people photo

Appreciate the living

When we appreciate the living, we are engaged in life and are more likely to enjoy those fleeting moments of happiness. Those moments of happiness register on our ‘happiness radar’ for a few seconds and then they’re gone. I have experienced these moments when I have been sharing a joke with a friend or even just sitting quietly next to someone I really care about.

Appreciate the living – the ones who make you smile and inspire you. Just because someone is alive doesn’t mean you have to appreciate them. Some people are mean-spirited and nasty, I certainly appreciate those people a lot less. Although, understanding WHY they are mean spirited or nasty does make it easier to tolerate them.

The world is full of amazing, kind people. I never let a good deed go unnoticed and enjoy offering genuine compliments as often as possible. I may sound a bit “Polly-Anna-ish” but I enjoy spreading goodwill and making others smile. That makes me happy.

If there is someone in your life who you appreciate, tell them. Don’t waste an opportunity to let them know how important they are to you. Life is unpredictable, savour moments with loved ones and make many happy memories along the way.

Mandy X