Tag Archives: happy relationship

Ultimate Relationships

happy couple photo

Ultimate Relationships

Ultimate relationships don’t just happen. They require effort and attention to bring out their best potential. If you would like extra help to take your relationship to the next level, keep on reading…

True fulfillment can only be found in one thing: the emotional power of our personal relationships.

Have you become complacent in your passion? Or, have you resigned to not pursuing romantic partnership at all? Rarely do you see a couple united in both love and attraction, able to sustain their power decade after decade. But, greater passion is possible!

In the Ultimate Relationship, Tony and Sage Robbins share the tools, insights and principles they have created and discovered through their journey, learning together as a couple, and working with people from every walk of life experiencing the same issues. They can help you to figure out where you really are in your relationships, where you want to be and what’s stopping you from having it all.

Just imagine what love coaching through the combined power of Tony and Sage Robbins can do for you — learn a results-oriented approach for attracting your ideal life partner, strengthening your relationship and reignite the passion you and your partner once shared.

Regardless of your past experience or current relationship, the potential for creating something deeper, richer and lasting is within your grasp.

Take action now and experience what’s possible when you transform your beliefs, eliminate your fears and master the fundamental skills necessary to create your ultimate relationship.

Mandy X

Tony’s newest program

Click here to get Tony Robbins’ Ultimate Relationship Program!

Testimonials:

Audrey, 34: I have tried this programme recommended by Mandy and have found it incredible. 100% recommended.

Bryan, 46: This programme is brilliant. I am very impressed and it has helped my wife and I reconnect.

The perfect stranger

 

perfect stranger

The perfect stranger

When we feel dissatisfied with our relationships, it can be tempting to fantasise about what life could be like with someone that was more like us, was more loving, more supportive etc

It’s easy to fall into the trap of the perfect stranger – the idea that there is someone who will fulfil our needs and be more compatible for us than our existing partner. Of course, there is the possibility that there is someone out there that would be better suited to you but when we put too much focus on the idea of perfect stranger, we can stop putting enough effort into making our existing relationships work. If you are good companions, fancy each other and enjoy being together most of the time, that’s a great foundation/base to work with. Don’t always assume that someone else will be better. We all have bad habits and no one is perfect. Give up the idea that someone better is around the corner. It will increase your dissatisfaction and may end up a self fulfilling prophecy. Be happy with what you have if most of the time, you tend to chug along quite happily.

Mandy X

5 Things confident people do in relationships

 

confidence in relationships

5 Things confident people do in relationships

 

  1. They assume all is fine in the relationship unless told otherwise

Instead of focusing on what might be wrong and allowing insecurities to get the better of them, confident people assume that everything is going well in their relationship unless told otherwise. They expect that their partner will love them and care for them because they value themselves and see their strengths and value to others.  Confident people don’t attach their worth to how others treat them. They know their own worth and as such have healthy boundaries in relationships.

2. They ask for what they want

Confident people have no trouble asking for what they want in a relationship. They will never assume the other person is a mind reader. They will be clear and ask that their needs are met. They are good communicators and aren’t afraid to talk about touchy subjects. Communication is the key to a happy relationship as it allows issues to be dealt with without an emotional ‘backlog’ of resentment building up.

3. They take responsibility for their part in the relationship

Confident people in relationships understand that they are mutually responsible for the success of the relationship and don’t put all of the responsibility on to their partners. They put their far share of love, affection and energy into making the relationship work and don’t shy away when the going gets tough. They easily see the bigger picture when they relationship hits a rocky patch.

4. They see rejection as incompatibility rather than as something wrong with them

When they are rejected they don’t spend time agonising over what they did wrong or whether they aren’t good enough. They are philosophical and understand that there are times when two people need to go their separate ways due to incompatibility.

5. They maintain their identity

Confident people stay true to their basic character and don’t stop doing things they love for the sake of a relationship. They understand that it is healthy to have your own interests and to have time apart as it creates more interest in the relationship. Insecure people try too hard to please whereas confident people know they need to be themselves. It’s exhausting and unsustainable to pretend to be someone you’re not.

Enjoy the relationship and accept it for what it is. Communicate regularly and never try to change your partner’s fundamental characteristics. A good relationship can be a wonderful source of love and support and we can all do with an ally or two in this world!

Mandy X

Push Pull relationships

push pull relationships

Push Pull relationships

You may be wondering what a ‘push pull’ relationship is and whether you have ever experienced one. It’s a common dynamic that emerges in many relationships and is a typical example of game playing. One partner gushes over the other, full of praise and keen interest (the pusher). The other person enjoys the attention and gets lulled into a false sense of security. The revel in the attention and feel special and valued. The pusher then seems to lose interest and pulls away causing the other partner to immediately wonder what they have done wrong.

This is classic push and pull and leaves a relationship full of tension and instability. Of course some people thrive on this dynamic but the truth is that no one’s emotions can withstand this kind of emotional roller coaster indefinitely. Sooner or later. emotions become frayed and insecurities become insurmountable.

We all like a bit of a challenge in a relationship but the classic push pull manouevre can become emotionally exhausting. We think we are loved and accepted, and then rug gets pulled and we begin to doubt our perceptions. What have I done? I thought they liked me but now I don;t understand why they have changed their attitude and behaviour towards me?

Very confusing for mentally healthy and balanced people. The constant second guessing is no fun. The perceived rejection causes the receiver of the push-pull behaviour to do their best to regain the love and attention they felt in the beginning. They pursue the ‘pusher’ thereby putting them back in charge of the relationship – the ball is now in the pusher’s court, so to speak. A powerless place to be for the unsuspecting person who is just looking for love.

The typical longevity of this type of relationship is about two years. Learn to recognise the dynamic and steer clear of it. Pushers are often afraid of commitment and put these emotional barriers in place to control the status of the relationship. Sadly, people who experienced a lack of love in childhood might be drawn to this familiar pattern of having to fight for love and become addicted to trying to get the pusher to change their ways, usually unsuccessfully. They fear abandonment and try harder to please the pusher which ironically forces the pusher away even further.

Recognising the pattern is the first step and if both people see they are trying to heal old wounds, they can start to heal and trust, breaking the pattern in the process.

Love should feel good, safe and wonderful not fearful, scary and hard work.

Mandy X

How to know you are loved

 

love photo

How to know you are loved

Relationships are funny things. We can bumble along and somehow, a relationships that was good turns into something that just isn’t what it used to be. We get distracted with work and other life issues and if we aren’t careful a good relationship can end up ruined. If we don’t regularly take stock we can end up in a functional relationship that doesn’t meet any of our emotional needs anymore and stay in something just because it’s familiar rather than because it is a relationship that makes us feel alive, inspired and brings out the best in us.

Signs that you are loved:

Your partner cares about your happiness and they actively do things that they know will make you happy.

Your partner doesn’t like to let you down or disappoint you – reliable.

You can count on your partner to keep to their word,

Your partner is honest and open with you.

They are there for you in a crisis.

They want the best for you and support you.

 

Signs the relationship needs some work:

You don’t spend much quality time together.

You don’t communicate about your feelings – the important stuff.

Your partner promises you things but doesn’t deliver, unreliable.

You are like strangers in the same house, there is detachment.

There is an increase in conflict and arguements.

Every relationship is different but trust your instincts on whether someone is right for you or not. Never stay out of fear that you won’t meet someone else. Staying with someone who is not good for you will belittle you, lower your self esteem and limit you chances to meet your full potential.

Mandy X

 

How to have a successful relationship

happy man and woman photo

How to have a successful relationship

Stop scoring points

A successful relationship always involves acting with integrity, Even if your partner doesn’t. Respond in the best possible way and treat them as you would wish to be treated. Stop keeping score as this leads to resentment. Communicate about what isn’t working rather than using this resentment to get back at the other person in order to even the ‘playing field’.

No game playing

They didn’t test, so I not going to text them either. This is short lived nonsense that will only temporarily make you feel better. Act as you wish to continue in the relationship. Game playing is the beginning of the end if it becomes a habit in the relationship and it reduces trust.

Be honest and open

Speak up when you feel the need. Talk about what’s on your mind as it fosters intimacy and a stronger bond. Be human. Be vulnerable. Take that risk for excellent rewards of a successful relationship.

Communicate as much as possible – don’t suppress

If something bothers you don’t let it fester. Pick the right moment and clear the air. Try to communicate regularly and dissipate any inner tension in doing so. You will feel closer and do better as a couple in the long run.

Pick your battles

Not every indiscretion needs to become a point of conflict. Decide on your boundaries and your ‘deal breaker’ areas and stick to those. Regular bickering and arguing ruins relationships.

Don’t try to change the other person’s fundamental characteristics, personality traits

If they are outgoing and lively, let them be that way even if that’s not how you behave. Stifle someone and you suppress their spirit and dilute their essence and they will end up resenting you for it. Give them freedom to be who they want to be and they will love you more for it.

Treat each other with respect

When respect goes you may as well give up. Respect means you still honour that person and don’t want to hurt them. When respect goes, the gloves are off.

Be assertive, don’t use passive aggressive tactics

Ask for what you want – don’t expect the other person to guess if you have not explicitly told them. Use assertive script to get your needs met: “when you….I feel…so what I’d like is…”

Using this format fosters cooperation rather than a defensive reaction.

Always work towards the ultimate goal of the relationship – to be close, intimate and best companions

When you feel the urge to do something that might damage the relationship, ask yourself if that action will contribute to a happy healthy relationship or not. Use this to guide your behaviour.

Healthy happy and successful relationships are within the reach of all of us. Tread carefully and be thoughtful and love can be yours forever.

Mandy X