7 Ways to improve your self esteem
There are three parts to your self concept. Your self ideal – how you would like to be, your self-image, how you actually see yourself, think about yourself as you go about your activities and your self esteem – how you feel about yourself. This is the emotional part of your self esteem. It is the key to happiness and personal effectiveness.
Your level of self esteem is determined by two factors: the first is how valuable and worthwhile you feel as a person (how much you like and accept yourself) and the second factor is your feeling of self-efficacy. This is how competent and able you feel you are in whatever you do. These two parts reinforce each other – when you feel good about yourself you perform better.
How you feel about yourself is largely determined by how you talk about yourself so it pays to talk to yourself in a positive manner. See yourself as competent and capable and as a likeable person. I even tell clients to repeat loudly “I love myself, I am wonderful”. They laugh and it feels awkward at first but it does work! Liking yourself is healthy.
Everything you believe about yourself today is learned – it is a perception, it isn’t fact. We come into the world without a self concept and we learn about ourselves by how others treat us and by life experiences.
The biggest hurdle in life to us all is fear. Fear robs us of happiness and opportunity. We try to stay safe in our comfort zone. The more you like yourself, the more likely you are to take actions that propel you out of your comfort zone.
Get in the habit of visualising positive outcomes, see it and feel it in your mind’s eye. Repeat these visualisations regularly. Immerse yourself in it, think about it often. Create a visualisation board – put together images of how you want your life to be and look at the images regularly.
Programme yourself by regularly repeating positive affirming statements such as “Everything is unfolding as it should.” or “I am safe and loved”. Write them on post-it notes and leave them around your home so that you ‘programme’ yourself regularly.
Say the affirmations out loud. Hear the positive words. “I can do it”. Also, when you insist to others that you can or will do something it has a powerful impact on your thinking and behaviour.
4. Act the part
Walk, talk and act exactly as you would if you were already the person you’d want to be – more confident or more self assured. How would you sit and stand? Think about a celebrity or family member you admire and respect and copy their behaviour if it helps.
5. Feed your mind
Read books and magazines consistent with the direction you want to go in.
6. Associate with positive people
Seeking out inspiring people will help you to make the most of yourself and see things in a positive manner. A very uplifting experience.
7. Teach others
You become what you teach. Forget what you were in the past, discard past labels, work towards living and being the person you want to be.
You will become what you think about most of the time.