Tag Archives: positive thinking

Tell yourself every day


mantra photo

Tell yourself every day

What you tell yourself has an enormous impact on your happiness and on the course of your life. Get into the habit of ‘feeding’ yourself a positive story. The more you hear it the more it sinks in and operates automatically in your daily life. I promise this is true as I have tried this and it worked for me. I used to be full of negative self talk and initially when I tried to talk to myself in a more positive way, it felt so fake and awkward. Tell yourself every day how unique and lovely you are

After a childhood filled with negative messages, that I wouldn’t amount to much and that I was just a useless liability, I had begun to believe all that nonsense and it seemed true. Actually, none of it was true – it came from an unhealthy parent who also had their own problems. I had taken on what they said and made it part of my identity. Therapy helped me to reject this ‘old programming’ and replace it with more balanced thoughts.

Tell yourself every day

I am a fantastic person, Unique in my ways with loads to offer others. I am great company, funny and clever. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like me? I am kind and generous and deserve love and care. I won’t allow others to criticise and abuse me as I deserve much better than that. This is my life to live and although others can offer me advice, I do not have to feel pressure to do as they say. They do not live my life, I do. I have the right to make mistakes and change my mind. I have the right to express my emotions and opinions as I am just as important as everyone else.  I have the right to lead the best life possible, to find my own way and do things the way I want to. No one else can make me feel inferior without my consent.

The above paragraph is just an example – you can create your own one or use some of the sentences above – whatever works for you.

Just remember to tell yourself positive helpful things every day. When you build this positive foundation for yourself about how you see yourself, you will attract different dynamics into your life. Without realising it, our thinking alters the way we do things and our body language and this sends subtly different signals to others. Research has proven this to be true!

A positive mental diet is what I call it. Obviously negative thoughts will still come but pay no attention to them and be aware of the messages you are giving to yourself. Tell yourself every day how amazing you are.

It can make a HUGE difference and it has worked for me.

Mandy X

Healthy Thoughts


thoughts photo

Healthy thoughts

When you feel stressed or anxious – watch what you are thinking and read through this list of healthier thoughts – better ways to think. Your mood is directly dependent on what you think about yourself and the world:


  1. There is no law carved in stone that states “I MUST”. Stop putting pressure on yourself. You could but you don’t have to.
  2. It’s just a hassle, not a horror. Don’t catastrophise when bad stuff happens. Don’t blow things out of proportion.
  3. I am not worthless because I fail and make mistakes.
  4. If I don’t recover quickly, I can learn from my mistakes and eventually do better at recovering.
  5. One failure does not mean TOTAL failure, or that I will never succeed.
  6. Reality is reality, not what I think it must be.
  7. Being human means I will sometimes act imperfectly.
  8. It is okay to ask for help.
  9. It is okay to not know what to do.
  10. It is okay to not cope and feel weak at times.

When we use good thoughts, we feel better about ourselves and life. Be an organised’thought manager’ – learn to let go of thoughts that are unhelpful and focus more on the thoughts that serve you well.

Mandy X

change the way we think

Changing the way we think

thoughts photo

Changing the way we think


  • Changing the way we think

As thoughts play such an important role in our distressing emotions, it can be very effective to notice these thoughts, and learn to think differently, or to think about thoughts in a different way.  When you start to feel upset


SELF CONTROL – monitor thinking and stay in the moment

When thoughts are distressing you, try not to give them attention or assign emotion/interpretation to them. Dismiss them.


Questions to ask yourself when you feel distressed

STOPP!  Pause, take a breath, don’t react automatically

Ask yourself:

  • What am I reacting to?
  • What is it that’s really pushing my buttons here?
  • What is it that I think is going to happen here?
  • What’s the worst (and best) that could happen?  What’s most likely to happen?
  • Am I getting things out of proportion?
  • How important is this really?  How important will it be in 6 months time?
  • What harm has actually been done?
  • Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?
  • Am I overestimating the danger?
  • Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
  • Am I using that negative filter? Those gloomy specs?  Is there another way of looking at it?
  • What advice would I give to someone else in this situation?
  • Am I spending time ruminating about the past or worrying about the future?  What could I do right now that would help me feel better?
  • Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible?  What would be more realistic?
  • Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
  • Am I believing I can predict the future?
  • Is there another way of looking at this?
  • What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
  • Am I putting more pressure on myself?
  • Just because I feel bad, doesn’t mean things really are 
  • Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant?  Am I mis-reading between the lines?  Is it possible that they didn’t mean that?
  • Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others, and putting myself down?  Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimising the positives? How would someone else see it?  What’s the bigger picture?
  • Things aren’t either totally white or totally black – there are shades of grey.  Where is this on the spectrum?
  • This is just a reminder of the past.  That was then, and this is now.  Even though this memory makes me feelupset, it’s not actually happening again right now.
  • What do I want or need from this person or situation?  What do they want or need from me?  Is there a compromise?
  • What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
  • Is there another way of dealing with this?  What would be the most helpful and effective action to take?  (for me, for the situation, for the other person)

Ways to make our thoughts less intrusive

  • Use metaphors try to see things differently.  Metaphors can help us understand thoughts in a different way.  For example:

Passengers on the Bus

  • You can be in the driving seat, whilst all passengers (thoughts) are noisily chattering, being critical or shouting out directions.  You can allow them to shout, but you can keep your attention focused on the road ahead.



Playground Bully


  • The playground is fenced in and the children have to learn to live with the bully.  This bully uses threats, mocking and abusive words to upset his victims.  We can’t stop our thoughts, but perhaps we can react to them in a different way, as these victims show us.
  • Victim 1 – believes the bully (the thoughts), becomes distressed, and reacts automatically.  The bully sees this as great entertainment and will carry on targeting this victim.  This is how we normally respond to our thoughts.
  • Victim 2 – challenges the bully, and bully eventually gives up on this victim.
  • Victim 3 – acknowledges then ignores the bully, changing focus of attention, and the bully soon gives up.


The River

  • Items floating down the river – perhaps leaves or bits of mucky debris (thoughts, feelings, images) – instead of struggling to stay afloat, we can stand on the bank watching our thoughts, images and sensations go by


The Beach Ball

  • We can try to stop our thoughts, like trying to hold a beach ball under water, but it keeps popping up in front of our face (intrusive distressing thoughts).  We can allow the ball (our thoughts) to float around us, not intruding, just letting it be.


Mandy X


think yourself healthy

Think yourself healthy

health photo

Think yourself healthy

There have been many examples of people who have outwitted ill-health by thinking themselves into a positive physical state. This may seem a bit far-fetched but hear me out…there are ways to think yourself healthy.

Sometimes your mind can be your worst enemy or it can be your best ally.Research has shown that positive thinking can influence your health in a good way.Past research has found that savoring the moment and positive thinking can help to not only improve your current health, but also prevent future health complications. In particular, the findings found positive thoughts to be especially beneficial to those already suffering from diseases like coronary artery disease and high blood pressure.

Placebos are fantastic evidence that the power of mind can help heal the body. Belief is a powerful mechanism. A simple sugar pill can work wonders if the person taking the sugar pill believes it will work. A study conducted by a Cleveland Clinic Foundation exercise psychologist in Ohio compared individuals who worked out at a gym against those who only visualized doing so. The surprising result? Understandably, the gym-goers experienced a 30 percent increase in muscle. The ones who thought about free weights and elliptical machines? That group actually experienced an increase in muscle strength that was almost half that of the other group (13.5%).

This isn’t to say we should all forego our gym memberships and yoga pants. However, it does illustrate the power our thoughts have when it comes to our health and how it is possible to think yourself healthy.

A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting.

The Nocebo effect also illustrates the power of the mind.  In 1992 theSouthern Medical Journal reported the case of a man who in 1973 had been diagnosed with cancer and given just months to live. After his death, however, his autopsy showed that the tumour in his liver had not grown. His intern Clifton Meador didn’t believe he’d died of cancer: “I do not know the pathologic cause of his death,” he wrote. Could it be that, instead of the cancer, it was his expectation of death that killed him?

This death could be an extreme example of the “nocebo effect” – the flip-side to the better-known placebo effect. While an inert sugar pill (placebo) can make you feel better, warnings of fictional side-effects (nocebo) can make you feel those too. This is a common problem in pharmaceutical trials and a 1980s study found that heart patients were far more likely to suffer side-effects from their blood-thinning medication if they had first been warned of the medication’s side-effects.

This places a spotlight on doctor-patient relationships. Today’s society is litigious and sceptical, and if doctors overemphasise side-effects to their patients to avoid being sued, or patients mistrust their doctor’s chosen course of action, the nocebo effect can cause a treatment to fail before it has begun. It also introduces a paradox – we must believe in our doctors if we are to gain the full benefits of their prescribed treatments, but if we trust in them too strongly, we can die from their pronouncements.

How to think yourself healthy

• 1. Close your eyes and imagine your immune system in a way that appeals to you. I like to imagine jellyfish-type-soldiers invading around my body, defeating bad bacteria and unhealthy cells. Make sure there are plenty of them, and see them as strong and purposeful.

• 2. Next, imagine travelling inside your body to the area that needs healing, and notice how you imagine the problem manifesting. You might see the infection or diseased cells as lots of tiny black globules.

• 3. Now, the jellyfish are going to destroy the black globules. It’s best not to imagine the immune system fighting; rather see the pale-coloured jellyfish surrounding and devouring the tiny black globules.

• 4. When all the tiny globules are gone, it’s important to then imagine the jellyfish happily swimming off and patrolling your bloodstream. This ensures you do not over-stimulate your immune system.

• 5. Imagine now a healthier you sitting in front of you. See how the person looks, smiles, and so on.

• 6.Now step into the healthier you and feel how much better you feel.

I completely believe that the mind can influence the body. After all, the mind and body are inextricably interlinked. Psychosomatic illness has long been documented and is yet another example of how interlinked our mental state and physical state are. Visualisation techniques, mindfulness, engaging in positive thinking, adopting a kind and tolerant attitude to others and maintaining peace and contentment can all contribute positively towards a healthier life.

PS. Make sure to get enough sleep and eat well too!

Mandy X