Tag Archives: sad

Life sucks sometimes

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Life sucks sometimes

It’s a fact, life sucks sometimes. People come into your life and steal your heart and then leave just as quickly as they entered.It’s hard to open up again and take the risk of letting someone else in. Should you trust them with your fragile feelings? I guess life is a risk and you can protect yourself forever or you can be brave and try to let love back in again. Life sucks for various reasons not just due to fading relationships.

I am writing this as it is close to my heart and I like to use this blog to write about all sorts of things. My own life serves as inspiration for blog posts, especially when I know there are many others experiencing similar things. I try to use hard times to learn and apply my professional experience to heal. I use this to help others if I can and to support my clients going through similar things. No one is immune to life, no matter how much ‘wisdom’ and/or knowledge you have.

Being rejected for something you have no control over is tough. He loved me until I told him I had health issues and that was that. He hung in but not for too long. Heart break central! His loss…

You have to believe that things happen for a reason. Being philosophical can be a blessing in life. Some things are beyond our control – like the feelings and thoughts of other people.

What needs to happen – focus on yourself, the only thing you can control. Make the most of yourself, never put yourself down and know that you are special whether someone else recognises it or not. Don’t allow your value and self worth to be wrapped up in the validation from others. Easier said than done but work on loving who you are. Someone who doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t deserve you in the first place. A broken relationship leaves you free to find the person who will love you, warts and all.

Well, that’s what I tell myself and it seems to work most of the time! Life sucks but always remember it won’t (thankfully) stay that way. Visualise yourself in the future, happy and carefree again. Each day, every second – you are closer to that happier place!

Mandy X

Why you’re unhappy

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Why you’re unhappy

There can be many reasons for why you’re unhappy. In the post I will list the most common reasons for unhappiness. These come from stories and examples that my clients have related to me.

Overthinking

I wholeheartedly agree with the saying, “when you’re in your mind you’re in enemy territory”. We tend to default to the negative and spend time worrying over things that may never happen. Limit your “what if” thinking and remember thoughts aren’t facts.

Denial

Facing the truth can be painful and threatening and many of us suppress the reality of what is going on around us. Thing is, until we face up to things we will still be unhappy even when we pretend everything is fine. Cognitive dissonance (when we possess conflicting beliefs, attitudes or behaviours) will emerge when we are in denial and not living the life we feel is the right one for us.

Negative filter

When we only focus on all that is wrong we tend to see a very bleak picture of the world. Learn to be more appreciative of the good things too, no matter how small.

Playing it too safe

When we live in our comfort zone and never try new things, it can lead us to feeling stagnant and without meaning or purpose. Get out there and experiment. Set yourself some goals…Be brave.

Living by too many ‘rules’

When we have too many rules for living we tend to be more unhappy. The more rules we have the easier they are broken, causing stress and anxiety. Learn to identify your rules for living and challenge them. They often take the form of “if this…then that”, For example: If I don’t please others, no one will like me. Some rules for living create utter misery. The less you have the better.

Taking life and yourself too seriously

A sense of humour is a great weapon to alleviate unhappiness. See the funny side, try to relax and enjoy life rather than seeing everything as a catastrophe.

Trying to control things beyond your control

There is a huge distinction between what we can and what we can’t control. Make sure you know the difference.

Remember the serenity prayer:

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Non acceptance of uncertainty

No one has 100% certainty in life – learn to work with it rather than against it. Acceptance and tolerance of uncertainty is helpful for happiness levels.

Comparisons

When you buy into the image others let you see, you can end up feeling inadequate. What you see on the outside though is an incomplete picture of the full reality. Don’t be taken in by what others show you – Facebook is the worst platform for this. Learn to focus on your own life and where you want to be rather than loking at false comparisons.

As you can see, there can be many reasons as to why you’re unhappy….the above are just a few. Learn to be psychologically flexible, laugh more and live in the moment for increased happiness and contentment.

Mandy X