Tag Archives: Uncertainty

Change is inevitable

 

 

change photo

Change is inevitable

An indisputable fact of life is that change is a continuous process that we all have to adapt to. Life moves on and we get older. The seasons come and go and people come and go from our lives too. Sometimes change is positive  such as the arrival of a new baby or moving into a bigger house but it can also be negative like a relationship that ends or someone passing away.

Change is inevitable and our attitude to change is what makes the situation easier when the change is negative.

Tips for dealing with change

Focus on what you can control

When we focus on what we can’t control we create unnecessary anxiety and stress in our lives. We cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, all we can control is our own thoughts and actions. This is where your power lies, bring your focus back to yourself. Always ask yourself whether what you are worrying about is within your control. If it isn’t, learn to let it go.

Practice ‘non-attachment’

Everything in life is temporary – your possessions and even the people in your life. This idea provokes anxiety for a lot of people but use this to your advantage. Learn to really appreciate what you have now as it won’t be there forever. Practicing a certain amount of non-attachment is a good thing as it is a worldly reminder that life is transient and that we should never take for granted the people in our lives. The less attachment we have to physical possessions, the happier we are. Being too attached to material possessions brings with it anxiety and a desire to exert control. This control is something many people chase but it is a waste of energy in the long run.

Live in the moment as much as possible

We all scare ourselves unnecessarily with fearful thoughts about the future. “What if this happens or what if that becomes a reality?”. More often than not the fearful thoughts are far worse than the reality would be and it is our inability to cope with uncertainty that leads many of us to feel anxious. Practising mindfulness is a great way to allay fears and to enjoy the moment more. When we are living inside our heads and worrying about the future, we are losing precious moments to feel happy and content. Try to focus your attention on what is going on around you. Practise focusing your attention in the present moment. If you catch your mind wandering to the future, refocus on your environment – what can you see, hear, touch…? This does take practise but keep at it!

Goals and purpose

Committing to a purpose that is greater than ourselves is a wonderful way to bring meaning into life. What are your long term and short term goals? Create a visualisation board with images of where you would like to be in a year or two years…what do you see?

Having something to work towards can help you to feel stronger when you are experiencing moments of self doubt. A bigger picture can help you to stay on track.

Change is inevitable but it doesn’t have to be something we fear. Instead of resisting it, learn to work with it as if you have chosen that change on purpose. There is a lesson in every life experience and change we go through.

Mandy X

 

 

How to cope with uncertainty in life

 

uncertain person

How to cope with uncertainty in life

How can we cope with uncertainty in life when we instinctively resist it? We want to know what will happen and we want to be prepared. Unfortunately, the way the world is leaves us with very little in the way of certainty…so what can we do to cope?

Acceptance

Part of dealing with uncertainty involves learning to accept that, no matter how much we fight against it, life will always be uncertain in many ways. Learning to accept this and work with it will leave you more at peace and will help you to work with it than against it.

Stop looking outwards for security

We often try to find security by seeking reassurance or by looking for validation and approval from others. This is fine but it is only a temporary fix. Learn to start believing in yourself more, give yourself the reassurance and trust yourself more. The more you cultivate inner strength and resilience, the ‘safer’ you will feel.

Be more willing to hang out with uncertainty

Embrace uncertainty – make a habit of going to new places and speaking to strangers. The mre you place yourself in situations that are strange and/or new, the better you become at coping with diversity and new experiences. This adds to self confidence and assists in feeling that you can cope with the challenges life throws at you.

Look for the lesson

Being philosophical about life is a good way to learn, become wiser, adapt and learn for past mistakes. When life is tough, ask yourself if there is a lesson in the experience? Post traumatic growth is personal growth that comes from the hard lessons life sends us. So even in the darkest times, there will be some level of personal shifting going on and a wiser understanding of the world will come from it. It will also teach you that you are stronger than you thought you were.

Stop judging and evaluating

Sometimes it helps to just see the experiences you go through as part of life’s process rather than as good or bad. Seeing the life lesson by looking at each experience as part of gaining your ‘life credits’ may help you to feel less angry, bitter or unhappy. We all have tough times as we can support each other to get through this thing called “life”.

Trust your instincts, trust the feelings within you rather than always seeking out certainty. Trying to feel certainty will exhaust you so get into the habit of seeing life as one big mad adventure. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously, keep a sense of humour and learn to like uncertainty. Thus may sound mad but if you have positive beliefs around uncertainty, it won;t frighten you half as much!

Mandy X

How to embrace an uncertain future

 

future photo

How to embrace an uncertain future

It’s a harsh reality, but we need to face the idea that no one can give us the exact answers that we need to be successful and happy. We all have different needs and different aspirations. Many of the answers that we are looking for lie within us and can be accessed through self-awareness and through our own first-hand experiences.

When we are true to ourselves, when we ask for what we want and when we live a life with integrity-fear of the uncertain lessens. The more we believe in ourselves and cultivate self-reliance, the more powerful we feel. Stop listening to what others want for  you and start tuning in to want you really want for yourself. Only when you tune in to your inner wisdom will you start to find the right path.

Once you have built a strong in a foundation you will find that amid the chaos and noise around you, there will be an inner peace. You may still feel frightened but you will feel ready to face whatever comes your way.

Embracing an uncertain future is something we all have to do. Nothing is certain so we may as well get used to dealing with it. We fool ourselves by trying to control things that are actually beyond our control in order to feel safe. We insure ourselves to the hilt, we draw up contracts and we take legal action when things do not go away. We could save ourselves a lot of distress if we learned to be quiet during the chaos and to keep our ideals and goals close to us.

The more you care about what other people think, the more unhappy you will be. Other people will always have their own opinions no matter what you do so you may as well please yourself.

Be true to yourself and foster self belief. Stop the negative self talk and replace it with more positive dialogue. Remind yourself regularly of all the hardships that you have overcome this far. Remind yourself that you will face whatever comes your way.

Accept that uncertainty is a part of life-stop resisting it. A risk assessment is obviously necessary but then go for it-do not procrastinate or become indecisive. See each way forward and each new decision as an adventure-a way to learn the matter what the outcome is.

Mandy X

 

 

Photo by h.koppdelaney