10 Things emotionally strong people don’t do
Mental and emotional strength are the key deciding factors in whether you will have a happy life or not. It’s not what happens to you but what you think about it that matters. If you crumble and catastrophise every time there is a crisis, you can bet your life will be more unhappy than the person who is able to put the setback into perspective, see the bigger picture and find solutions as soon as possible.
They affect the way our body functions and they drive every single one of our actions. Without emotion, we would have no reason to act, to do anything with ourselves.
Emotions are our greatest motivators. Unfortunately, they can motivate us to act in any direction, even the wrong one. For this reason, emotional strength is essential.
1) They don’t try too hard
They don’t need the approval from others. They like it but it isn’t something that drives their decision making. Trying too hard shows that you lack confidence and need reassurance and you can’t be strong if your strength can only come through others approving of you.
2) They don’t give up on themselves
They nurture their self belief as if their lives depended on it. They believe in their ideas and their opinions and aren’t afraid to be themselves even when it may result in disapproval or incorrect assumptions about them. They have nothing to prove to others – they know who they are and live their life to please themselves instead of engaging in the exhausting process of people pleasing.
3) They don’t allow others to treat them with disrespect
This world is full of pessimism, haters and cynics. Emotionally strong people don’t allow unnecessary negativity to stick around and won’t put up with constant malicious criticism or jealousy from others. Staying emotionally strong means spending time with uplifting people and situations. Too much negativity makes this job very tough indeed.
4) They don’t need to fit in
The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent you become. You don’t feel the need to fit in because you fit in where it matters: the world – instead of fitting in to be liked by others. People form smaller social groups that are often skewed and unhealthy. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.”
5) They don’t forget that happiness is a choice/decision
Most importantly, the emotionally strong have learned to understand the power their brains have over both the mind and body. They understand that emotions are reactions, not reactions to direct physical causes, but to the way we perceive those causes. In other words, our emotions don’t reflect reality; rather, our emotions reflect the way we interpret reality. Understanding this gives us near-full control of our emotions and, therefore, our lives. We have more power over how we wish to see the world rather than the world ‘happening’ to us as passive participants.
6) They don’t forget to be assertive
Saying “no” is a basic yet essential skill to keep our lives clutter free and as pure as possible. The more we get used to saying “no” the easier it becomes. We all do things that we don’t love to do, but we should never do things that we don’t want to do. The emotionally strong understand that and almost always manage to figure out a way to focus on what they love, which allows them to figure out what they need to do, in order to do what they love.
Although they may not love every second of it, they like doing what they are doing because it’s bringing them one step closer to what they would love to do.
7) They are not afraid to slow down
Emotionally strong people aren’t in need of constant action and excitement. They don’t need to run around all day and keep moving in order to avoid their demons. They appreciate a slow moment because it brings them closer to what it feels like to do nothing but living, breathing – being mindful and in the present moment. This is not to say that they don’t enjoy excitement in their lives, but they aren’t junkies and are more than happy to just go for a walk and smell the roses.
8) They aren’t afraid to love
If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. You obviously think you can’t be in a lasting relationship, but only in one that is doomed for disaster. You don’t want to get hurt again because getting hurt really sucks.
There is no reason for you to get your heart broken again because you are awesome. If things don’t work out, it’s not you. It’s the two of you together. Unless, of course, you are an awful human being; in that case, it is you.
9) Emotionally strong people don’t see being mean and aloof as a good thing
People are mean. But we wonder, why? Being a jerk is only good as an intimidation factor, and if you’re trying to intimidate people, then you better be a negotiator by profession; if you’re intimidating just for the sake of it, you’re obviously overcompensating for a lack of confidence. Do you also drive a very large automobile, perhaps? Overcompensating??
10) They don’t hold grudges
If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. Why carry around that negativity when the incident is over? You are probably being affected more than the other person is who has probably moved on already. If a person apologizes genuinely, forgive him or her. If this person doesn’t apologize, then don’t interact with him or her, but don’t hold grudges. People with whom you seek to alienate and hold grudges against take up too much of your mental energy, doing more harm than good.
Are you an emotionally strong person? Withstand pressure from others, dance to your own beat and follow the path of being true to yourself and doing what you love as much as possible. Be kind, give back to others and you will reap the rewards.
Mandy X
Photo by International Information Program (IIP) 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
