10 Tip to increase your resilience

Here are 10 helpful tips to increase your resilience

1. Embrace failure and accept it as a part of life – kind of like an ‘initiation’. You’re not living life if you haven’t failed. The less you fear failure, the more you will explore and attempt new experiences. Getting the ‘failure badge’ is an achievement!
2. Accept what you can’t change – focus on what you can change. This feels empowering. When you focus on things you can’t change, for example other people – what they think and what they do, you will feel anxious and helpless. All you really have control over are your own thoughts and feelings and behaviour. What do you want to think about a situation and what do you want to do about it? Focus on these two things the most to increase your resilience.
3. See setbacks as temporary. Change is inevitable and you will move on from it. As they say, the only way is up. if you feel at rock-bottom, this will eventually swing around. Play the end-game and don’t get caught up in the moment.
4. Reach out to others. Good people in your life can help you when you are struggling with perspective. Sometimes we need to ask for help. many of us don’t like to do this but you might find that others are far more caring and willing to help than you expected. That’s what friends and family are for.
5. Focus on your strengths and give yourself credit for all that you have ‘survived’ this far = big pat on the back! I am amazed at how many people only look forward and don’t stop to give themselves credit for past successes. 
6. Focus on what is good instead of catastrophizing. An attitude of gratitude can go a long way. it helps to balance out your thoughts and keep you on track. There is rarely a situation that is all bad. Try to look for different ways to appraise the situation. Ask yourself what story you can tell yourself that will make you feel less anxious? For example – If the person you love doesn’t get in touch for a few days. You can either think that it’s your fault, that they will abandon you and don’t love you (this will make you feel dreadful) or you can tell yourself that there might be a plausible explanation and they haven’t got a working cell phone, they have been busy etc. If you don’t have evidence either way – choose the thoughts that upset you the least. they are equally valid until you know more.
7. Use affirmations to improve your resilience or use coping statements – I will get through this, I will find a way, this will pass etc
8. Distress tolerance – instead of resisting feeling sad/upset/unhappy through avoidance, disassociation, perfectionism etc. – sit with the negative feeling and remind yourself that you can get through these feelings. They are unpleasant and we’d all prefer to never feel negative emotions but they don’t last forever. When you see them this way, they lose their impact and you don’t feel you must avoid these feelings at all costs. You can cope…
9. Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. We aren’t getting out alive and this perspective helps me gain perspective when I am overthinking and stressing out.
10. Maintain a good sense of humour is one of the best ways to improve your resilience. Laughing and not getting too caught up in your emotions can be an excellent way to cope with the tricky sticky parts of life.