relationships Mandy Kloppers

10 Tips That Will Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

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Some pro tips will ensure that there is no emotional distance in your long-distance relationships.

Being in love or in a relationship is definitely the best feeling for a human being. But if you fall in love with the wrong person and get heartbreak, you might feel that it is the worst thing in the world. While this is not the case, it is definitely easier to enjoy being in love if your partner lives close by.

 

But what if they live far away from you? Some might think love is tough or even impossible over long-distance, but I don’t think so; the age of video calling and texting has made it much easier to maintain a long-distance relationship than ever before. But if you ask anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship for a long time technology can’t make up for everything. Like you can’t just send long distance relationship quotes and video calls occasionally and expect everything to go smoothly. You need to make more of an effort; to find out how to do so, scroll down to the end to find out.

 1.Make Schedules Prioritizing Them

Different work hours, sleep schedules, and time zones will wreak havoc when it comes to making time for communication. Ask them, “When are you at your best? When can you devote your unrushed time and undivided attention to the conversation? How do you feel about fun texts?”

Establishing a pattern where you both have the time to communicate deeply is extremely important. But sometimes it turns out that pattern isn`t working particularly well for one or both. There is no one perfect schedule that will make everything work; you two have to negotiate and figure it out as you go.

 2.Make Sure You Have the Same Goals and Potential Endgames

Long-distance relationships are considered temporary. It means both partners understand that this long-distance part of their relationship is not gonna last forever. But what will happen if one person wants to keep the relationship permanently long-distance and the other doesn’t?

It’s also important to know if one partner considers the separation or the distance between the two as a temporary hurdle that will eventually end in a major commitment like engagement. A mismatch in your ultimate goals and expectations will cause friction, so make sure to continually talk through these concerns.

3.Don’t Make It a Techno Relationship

You may think you’re lucky to have video-conferencing, texting, and all the other technologies to make it easier to stay in real-time contact with your loved one. But you should always have something tangible that will remind you of your partner, like a piece of cloth that still smells like your partner or a gift from them in your bedroom that reminds you of their presence. And don’t downplay the joy of receiving something tangible from them like a funny postcard, an unexpected gift, or a delivery of your favorite candy

4.Ensure Quality Communication

Interestingly enough, couples who are in long-distance relationships are more satisfied with their way of communication than couples who are in close proximity. So they may have few opportunities for communication but make every opportunity count. Unlike living in close proximity, long-distance couples don’t fight and bicker about small things. Although, since you may not have the luxury of facial expression or physical interaction, you’ll need to be a little more deliberate in the words you use.

 5.Don’t Skip Small Details Because You Think They’re Boring

You need to bear in mind that a focus on quality communication doesn’t mean you`re not gonna talk about the smaller details of your day. Sometimes you can easily feel like you and your partner are growing apart. And you don’t have any clue about what’s going on in your partner’s life. Like, who`s their new lunch hour buddy? What podcasts or tv shows are they into now? Who’s their new nemesis at work?

Don’t make the common mistake of thinking that the “boring” details of your day shouldn’t be known to your partner; these “boring” small details will bring you guys even closer.

6. Don’t Over-plan Your Visit

The most exciting time in long-distance relationships is when you get to meet your distant loved one after a long time. And out of that excitement, you tend to make a lot of plans which hinders the chance of you spending any quality time with your partner.

Sadly, the opposite of a romantic getaway happens because you get too tired of doing so many activities in so little time. So try and plan less and just live the moments properly with your loved one.

7. Don’t Put Your Life on Hold for Your Partner

There is no doubt long-distance relationships need more sacrifices. But while making those sacrifices, you need to make sure that you don’t completely miss out on life. Make sure you are still maintaining your own friends and cultivating hobbies or interests. Putting your life on hold because you are waiting for the ideal circumstances when you are living with your partner will only make you resent them in the long term. So you should enjoy your life outside of the relationship, which is a good general rule for any relationship whether it is long-distance or not.

 

8.Try and Look at Your Situation From a Positive Perspective

Being in a long-distance relationship might seem dull and gloomy at times but you need to believe that you and your partner can make it work. So you both need to remember that and support each other. This will help you to grow together and fight off all the negative thoughts you get about your relationship.

 

 9. Know Whether You’re “checking in” and “checking up on.”

Being so far away from your partner surely makes you feel like that you’re not knowing enough about your partner’s life. Make sure that the distance between you doesn’t turn into a toxic suspicion. Even if you get suspicious about something, just call or text them and cultivate open and trusting communication. Don’t get all detective on them; that will only push them away from you.

 

 10. Make Trust the Foundation of Your Relationship

Without trust, no relationship can work out.  And it is absolutely essential for a long-distance relationship, so you need to be honest with your partner about every detail of your life and your partner has to do the same. Only then can be your relationship rock-solid no matter the distance.

Love itself is an ordeal but a long-distance relationship is the biggest ordeal of them all. You have to learn to love someone without being physically with them. I hope my advice will make your ordeal a bit easier.

 

Image Source: Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

 

 

 

 

 

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.