The standard understanding of depression is that it is a condition of sadness. However, many people who are struggling with depression are actually facing feelings such as irritability, apathy, confusion, and an inability to focus and concentrate.
Resentment
Many people struggling with depression come to resent things in their lives that used to serve them or give them pleasure. If you are just sick of your
- job
- spouse
- home
- activities
there is a decent chance that you are developing depression.
If you find yourself dreading emails at work, snapping at your spouse every time their speak, getting cranky with your children, grumping at the folks you play basketball with on the weekend, or actively hating simple chores, you could be in the early stages of a serious health concern. Depression doesn’t have to result in tears for you, but if untreated, it can alienate everyone in your life.
Apathy
Once you are done resenting everything in your life, you may progress to not caring about anything. This manifests itself as
- an aversion to bathing
- a refusal to pick up after yourself
- eating a lot of junk, even if it makes you feel bad
When you enter the apathetic phase, the friends and family you have been grumping at could decide they need to get some distance from you. If you find that you only shower if you have to go somewhere, that you stop shaving until you have to go to work, or that you are cycling between potato chips and ice cream, it is time to contact a counselor in your area. For example, you could search for online counselling in Canada or your current location to find some help.
Confusion
One of the hallmarks of depression is that you lose the ability to focus. If you find that your work is suffering because you forgot to take care of a task, your depression could be making it very hard to concentrate.
Being constantly distracted makes depression easier to tolerate because you don’t notice how hard it is to concentrate. However, at your job you need to focus and produce to keep your position. Left untreated, your depression could cause you serious problems at your job, increase your stress level and make it harder not to get apathetic about your situation.
The inability to focus and carry through can also be hard on your relationships. If you find yourself missing out on conversations with your spouse because your brain didn’t store the information, the problem could be depression.
Exhaustion
Being depressed can lead to insomnia and exhaustion. Because deep sleep is incredibly healing to the brain, not getting enough sleep can lead to a higher toxin load in your brain, increase your risk of developing dementia, and limit your quality of life.
Many who struggle with deep depression have a need to sleep all the time. However, if the chemical imbalance causing your depression isn’t addressed, your need to sleep will become insatiable. If you find that, despite keeping a regular bedtime and getting what is technically enough rest, contact your physician for a full workup. You could be struggling with a thyroid illness, depression, or even a blood sugar problem.
Loss of Interest and Joy
One of the worst things about depression is that people lose interest in activities that used to give them joy. If you no longer have the energy to enjoy your hobbies or are no longer taking any pleasure or satisfaction in your regular activities, depression may be stealing your satisfaction in your life.
Of course, it can be hard to get terribly excited about housework and yardwork. However, we can all take satisfaction in a job well done. If possible, do your best to change your viewpoint on those “have-to” chores. Mowing is great exercise and it will improve the look of your home. It may even make your neighbors happy!
Depression isn’t all about sadness. In fact, it can manifest as hostility and frustration. Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling. If you are angry about a particular event or the action of another person, talk to them. If you are angry about everything, consider keeping a journal to better understand the source of your distress.
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
