5 Top tips for dating men successfully
Dating can be a minefield of mishaps and crazy failures. I have certainly had my fair share – from men asking me if I fancy them the moment I arrive (and being annoyed when I refused to answer) to rude uncouth behaviour – shouting at waiting staff and then proceeding to leave with a small piece of their lobster dinner still attached to their cheek! Thankfully I can look back and laugh at my absurd encounters – a sense of humour is always vital when dating. From my own personal experience, general research statistics that I have come across and my client’s experiences, I have put together a few top tips for dating men successfully.
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Never ever have sex on the first date ever
Some may disagree with this one. They would say – If you fancy each other, why not go for it? That may be true but if the relationship is the right one, a little self restraint can only be a good thing. Why rush it? Get to know each other a little first and tease each other – the wait can be tantalising. Many men I have spoken to have said they find it off-putting when a girl is to quick to jump into bed with them – it can show a lack of self esteem and also gets guys wondering whether you do this with every other guy. I guess you could call it double standards as men do not get judged in the same way. Nevertheless, it is a good strategy to live by.
2. See yourself as a prize
Tell yourself that any man would be lucky to be in a relationship with you, Think of your strengths and repeat them to yourself regularly. eg. Why wouldn’t a man want to be with me? I am funny, clever, affectionate etc etc
Watch the self talk. Feed yourself with a positive mental diet. You owe it to yourself and you don’t do it, no on else will. Men are captivated by confident women who seem happy in their own skin. Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Arrogant behaviour involves the belief that you are superior to others, being confident means that you like and accept yourself.
3. Trust your instincts
I would’ve saved myself a lot of headaches if I had just tuned in to my inner voice of wisdom more often.We pick up a lot more than we see with our eyes. If a man seems overly keen and wants to rush you – beware. If a man ignores you and seems unpredictable, this behaviour will probably continue. Don’t try make yourself ‘fit’ the man – if it is meant to be it will feel good and natural without too much extra work. Do they seem set in their ways? Do they listen to you or are they very opinionated? Do they seem genuinely interested in you?
4. Keep an open mind
When we have had a few negative experiences, we can be quick to judge someone new. Try to be as open minded and objective as you can with each new person you meet. Everyone deserves a chance. Watch those emotional barriers that you have put up.
5. Have fun!
Try to keep a sense of humour and not take dating too seriously. See it as a fun way to meet new people (especially if you are internet dating) and enjoy the experience rather than being too focused on the end result – “I must find a partner to love me”. That will come – be patient.
If you have any dating tips, please send them as I will follow this post up with further suggestions on successful dating. Being single has it’s virtues too – enjoy whatever stage you are in.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
