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Building a successful relationship requires work, especially if you’ve broken up with the person once before. Ex-boyfriends and girlfriends can get back together and have successful relationships if they do the work. Here are seven tips for building a good relationship with an ex.
Be Honest About Mistakes
No one is perfect, so you need to be honest about how you contributed to the breakup of your former relationship. Admit to your mistakes in the relationship when discussing what happened with your ex and strive not to repeat them.
Learn from the past, so you don’t make the same mistakes in the future.
Restart with a Solid Foundation
The best way to rebuild a relationship is to remember the positive aspects of the time you spent together. Then, use those memories of why you worked so well together as a foundation on which to renew the relationship.
A firm foundation is required to build anything that is going to last, including a relationship.
Address Past Issues
Although you may want to forget the past, that could be a mistake. You need to face what went wrong to avoid the same things from happening again.
Make a list as you discuss the issues to find out if they are still valid and discuss how to avoid them as you work on renewing your relationship.
Consider Couples Counseling
You should consider going to couples counseling to get all the issues you have out in the open. If you don’t know how to initiate a conversation about the past and what mistakes were made, a counselor can help get it started and lead it, so it’s productive instead of just rehashing the past.
Be Realistic
You should already know that relationships are hardly magical. They require hard work from both people, or it won’t succeed. Along with being honest with each other, be realistic about the relationship and how to make it work. You can also read these tips on how to get your ex back permanently.
Learn to Share Control
If one partner always needs to be in control, then the other one may feel like they don’t have a say around the house.
Share control of the thermostat, the television remote, and handling the finances to prevent one person from becoming disinterested in what is happening in the house and relationship.
Forgive Each Other
If there was strife between both of you when you broke up, learn to forgive each other. While you don’t want to forget what happened, it shouldn’t be used to hurt each other either. Forgive each other for the hurt that was caused and put it behind you to create a newer, better relationship.
Sometimes a break up can provide a new perspective on an ex, especially if you’ve dated others afterward. It can allow you to revisit their good points, rebuild the trust between you with honesty, and learn from your mistakes.
While it is important to learn from the past, don’t let the past drag you back down. Forgive each other for any mistakes that were made, then leave them in the past, so they don’t influence the new relationship you’re creating together.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
