Are you also overwhelmed?
I don’t know about you, but I get days when it all just seems too much. There is too much to do, too much to think about and all I want to do is go for a nap. Do you get days where you are also overwhelmed? I find that the days when I have some sort of emotional issue to deal with that it’s much harder to struggle through. Especially when I have clients as I have to focus 100% on them and not allow any intrusive anxious thoughts to enter my mind. How do you deal with stress and emotional strain when there is so much to do and you just have to keep going?
When I talk about emotional issues, I am referring to something related to people close to me. Either an arguement, disagreement or where I feel insecure or let down. Let’s face it, we probably all go through this but I often wonder how different people deal with it and whether there are any clever strategies I am overlooking.
Even though I know many of the ‘psychological tools’ to deal with emotional stress, it can often be harder to apply in real life. Emotions always contort reality and leave us with self doubt. If something feels wrong or you feel bothered, it’s best to try and address the issue but this isn’t always possible. There’s a multitude of reasons as to why we put on an act and pretend everything is fine when we are hurting inside.
When I was younger I wasn’t that good at regulating my emotions but now I am far more measured and ‘sit’ with emotions for a lot longer. That’s not always ideal either! Finding a happy balance would be good but these days I prefer to analyse and think about things before expressing myself.
This works some of the time but there are instances where emotions overflow and control is temporarily lost. I try to focus on what I can control (my reactions and thoughts) and not focus on what is beyond my control (what others may be thinking and their behaviour). I also try not to ‘mind read’ (assume what someone else is thinking) and also try not to catastrophise and fear the worst.
What strategies do you use to deal with conflict in your relationships? Are you open and communicative or do you withdraw, waiting for the other person to reach out? What do you do if the other person also withdraws? Relationships are tricky, challenging and require daily compromise! We are all learning as we go and each relationship has a unique dynamic which make sit harder to always use previous strategies from prior relationships.
Bottom line: Don’t accept any unreasonable behaviour and try to communicate as much as possible even if it’s hard to broach the subject. No one should be allowed to minimise how you feel and a loving partner will want to make you feel happy in the relationship as much as possible.