Are you dating a narcissist? Many couples come to see me regarding problems in…
Are you dating a sensitive narcissist?
Firstly, what is a narcissist? A narcissist is an extremely selfish individual who always puts themselves first. What’s more, they lack empathy and insight into their behaviour. They act superior, are very judgemental and believe they should be treated specially compared to others. Underneath it all, they are actually very insecure and feel extremely threatened if someone else tries to give them constructive criticism. They often go into a narcissistic rage as any type of criticism threatens their fragile egos.
Underneath it all, despite the bravado and confidence, many narcissists don;t feel good enough and do their utmost to behave in a way that hides these fears. They can often seem pompous and arrogant. What they say and what they do often don’t align.
If you dare to question them they may say something like, “How dare you say that?” or they will twist it around and say that you “demonise” them. They won’t look at the content of what you are saying and behave in a reasonable manner.
Most mature adults can handle negative feedback but a sensitive narcissist will hold onto it and find it difficult to let go. They don’t acknowledge what is said to them, thus staying stuck in their selfish cycles.
This is another common behaviour of a sensitive narcissist. They will experience great agitation when they don’t get their way a dn can sulk if they feel you aren’t paying them enough attention.
They truly believe that the world revolves around them. They will often seem oblivious to the time other people give up for them or the sacrifices others make. They will see these efforts as expected and not see them as kindness and caring from others. Their selfishness abounds.
A narcissist will make a mental note of any perceived slight against them. They may not let you know immediately, but believe me, they will be keeping score! When you don;t respect them enough, when you don’t do things the way they like, when you don’t fit into their life the way they see fit…
How to handle a narcissist
Narcissists are really good at making everyone around them miserable. If you are dating a narcissist, get used to never getting your needs met. They will wear you down till you give up trying to reason with them.
You CAN’T change them!
If you want to stay with a narcissist, you will have to get used to keeping them happy in order for you to be happy. They will rarely do things solely to please you. The only time they will ‘sacrifice’ is if it will make them look good. Their motto is “What’s in it for me?”
Narcissistic injury – if you dare to point out any flaw in a narcissist, be careful. They won’t take on board what you are saying, instead they will begin to think about replacing you with someone who will idolise them without question.