Avoiding the blame game
Avoiding the blame game is a skill that can be learned. When we blame someone else for what is going on in our lives, we effectively give up any control over our circumstances. What a hopeless and helpless place to be. Thing is, taking responsibility for where we are in our lives is crucial if we want to move forward and make positive changes.
I have often heard people say that their live are ruined because of how their parents treated them. Or I have heard people say that they are unhappy because of their partner and that everything wrong in their life is due to their partner’s behaviour. That may be true but we are never as helpless as we think we are. It is often more a case of not having the strength or the insight to make the necessary changes.
You are where you are in your life due to your past decisions. If you are in an unhappy realtionship, do you choose to stay? You cannot control your partner’s awful behaviour but you CAN choose your response to it. I know that leaving isn’t easy but it is an option.
Yes, your parents may have caused damage but there comes a time when you have to make a choice to move forward despite your awful past with them. Are you going to allow what they did to affect you forever or are you going to take back your control and make the most of your remaining life now that you are free of them? See them for the fallible human beings they are, get therapy or counselling if necessary but know that you can free yourself from the psychological damage…it is possible.
The blame game keeps us stuck. Blame effectively gives the power to someone else where we require them to do something in order for us to feel happy again. What a terrible situation to be in. What if they are incapable of changing or giving you what you need?
Shift your focus back onto yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness. It can be very scary to realise that your happiness is up to you but it can also be hugely liberating to feel like you are the master of your own destiny and that you don’t have to live with immovable obstacles (your parents, your partner, your job etc). You can find solutions and work through them!