Be at peace in your mind

The key to a happy life is the ability to calm your mind and be an effective ‘thought manager’. This can be easier said-than-done, especially when the world around us presents continuous ‘triggers’ that can set us off emotionally. We all have insecurities and other people and circumstances can easily bring these unpleasant emotions to the surface leading to a feeling of loss of control.

There are ways to reduce the thought turmoil in your mind:

1) Live in the present moment

A mind with too much time to think is often a mind in turmoil. Living in the present moment, without overthinking the past or worrying about the future can lead to a happier existence. The power is in the present moment, focus on it and use it wisely.

2) Stop trying to figure others out

This is wasted energy as most of our time spent making assumptions about others leads to incorrect conclusions. Instead, focus on yourself and what you DO know.

3) Take personal responsibility

When we take responsibility for ourselves we stop playing the blame-game and take back control of our lives. Blaming others for our troubles in life essentially means we are giving them the power over our lives. Is it really true that someone else is responsible for your unhappiness? Are they in your brain planting all those awful thoughts about you and your life or are you choosing to think that way? Stop being a victim and start taking control.

4) Don’t believe every thought you have

The nature of our thinking is tainted by our backgrounds, our childhoods and past experiences. You really don’t need to believe every thought you have especially if they make you feel miserable. You can actively reframe thoughts and find ones that work for you rather than make you feel helpless, useless or that your life is a mess. These thoughts will more than likely be clouded by strong emotions leading to even less rational thinking.

I am not saying you should lie to yourself but there are ways to talk to yourself that will lead you to feeling more hopeful than desperate and depressed.

5) Ask yourself what the lesson is

Sometimes being philosophical helps is to see things differently. When life is tough, we learn from these experiences and often we become stronger as a result – this is known as “post traumatic growth”. Learn to focus on the bigger picture and try not to get caught up in the moment. In a year from now you won’t remember what you were thinking as much as you’ll remember what you did.

There are many strategies to help us feel happier and to create internal buffers to keep our inner happiness thermostat constant. At times, we need to put emotions and thoughts aside, focus on the here and now and be kind to ourselves in order to get through.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.