We do ourselves a disservice when we try to people-please too much and put our needs on hold most of the time. Think for yourself and make it a priority to honour and respect yourself. By doing this, you also teach others how to teach you and show them that you value yourself. When we don’t value ourselves, others pick up on it and end up treating us with the same lack of respect we give to ourselves.
Keep this “Bill of Rights’ close to hand and read it regularly…
A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS
It is reasonable and proper for me to…
- Be treated with respect
- Hold my own views and have them heard
- Have my own feelings and have them taken seriously
- Arrange my own priorities
- Make mistakes
- Change my mind
- Choose not to answer questions that are personal or intrusive
- Choose when and if to assert myself
- Define and protect the physical space I need
- Refuse without feeling guilty
- Get what I pay for
- Ask for what I want
- Be given information (by doctors, lawyers, accountants etc) without being patronized
Any right I claim as my own, I extend to others. In other words – all of the above apply to others as well and contribute to everyone expressing their true wishes. (Eg> I have the right to have my needs met and so do you.)
When we suppress what we really want, this ‘energy’ often expresses itself in a passive-aggressive way. We still try get our needs met in less obvious and in a negative way – such as through resistance, sarcasm, procrastination etc
Add more to the above list and regularly remind yourself of your rights!
Mandy X
Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
