Five steps to help you be more confident.

 

1) Like Yourself

The single most important ingredient of self confidence is liking yourself. Decide on your values and stick to them. be the same person no matter whose company you are in.

List 10 things you like about yourself.

List 5 qualities that make you stand out.

Get out of the habit of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself. Start appreciating yourself and the positive self talk will become a way of life.

2) Choose Your Thoughts Carefully

You are the sum total of all your thoughts. “As a man thinketh so he is”. The only difference between an optimist and a pessimist is what they choose to focus on. You are free to choose which thoughts you hold on to and the ones you discard/ignore. When you feel down and dejected, your thinking has led you there. Change your thinking and if you find this difficult, distract yourself. Just say NO to negative thoughts and choose new thoughts that will create a feeling of optimism and cheerfulness. Use positive affirmations and repeat them to yourself often. Write them out and leave them in visible places to remind you and condition you to think positively. Examples of good affirmations:

Everything is unfolding as it should

I can handle whatever comes my way, I will find a way

I am worthy of love

3) Study Confident People

Observe their body language, how they relate to others, what they say and do. Try emulate this behaviour.

4) Choose Your Influences

Read inspirational books, focus on positive events and people. Be aware of the negative messages that constantly flood in from the media and other sources. Be wary of other people’s agendas when they are negative. Develop an immunity to pessimism. Listen to uplifting music.

5) Beware of comparisons

The quickest way to deflate your confidence is to compare yourself to the wrong people. Don’t put other people on pedestals. Forget comparisons and instead choose a role model to follow – someone who has qualities that you admire and from which you can learn.

Follow the above steps and you will increase your chances of emotional well being and allow yourself to be more confident.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.