Many people seem to be able to keep it together until they become an ex. Once the split has occurred they no longer need to keep up good behaviour, (as you have left them) and they begin to wage a war of insanity against you and possibly your new partner.
What is it that turns relatively rational beings into frothing, unstable strangers?
It appears that rejection has a lot to do with it and the end of a relationship can trigger our insecurities. Thoughts such as “I’m not good enough” or “he/she was out of my league” can send us into an emotional whirlwind where rational thought cannot exist.
I have heard of stories where the ex-wives call their ex-husbands new partner at 3 am. I have also heard of crazy ex-partners calling more than ten times in an hour, generally create a nuisance of themselves. It becomes hard to believe that this person ever acted rationally at all.
Emotions do strange things to all of us but most of us can thankfully handle ourselves and are able to rationalise events. This creates a lot less stress and helps us to remain mentally stable. People who cannot or will not be rational should be dealt with in a firm and consistent way.
Don’t fight emotion with emotion. Rather, do not involve yourself in their madness and steer clear of crazy behaviour as much as possible. If the other person realises that their tantrums are they are not getting any rewards they will usually give up.
For those that persist, well..there is always therapy.
Mandy X
Photo by Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
