Nothing shocks me anymore. I have realised that this world takes all sorts and there is no such thing as normal. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ and that makes my job as a counsellor very unique. There isn’t a psychological theory that covers all human behaviour as there will always be an exception to the rule. Such is the nature of human beings. For every Psychologist that supports Theory A, there will be another Psychologist that refutes that theory and supports Theory B. Very little is static and knowledge about humans is changing and being updated all the time.
I no longer see it an unusual for clients to have several sex partners simultaneously, nor do I find it odd to find a married couple with children living separately or in different countries. As long as it works for the people involved, who am I to judge?
I have worked with addicts, paedophiles, murderers and rapists. I can’t get enough of people and their stories. I learn something new every day from my clients.
I have heard of stories of girlfriends calling their boyfriends at work to ask permission to use the toilet when they are at home. They both seem to enjoy this level of control and it works for them. It may be unusual but it represents the rich tapestry of life, people and relationships.
I know of people who go swinging and dogging. The stories are amusing and enlightening. High powered people who get bored with all their money and success and are looking for the next high.
I have even encountered people who have had a hi jacking arranged. They know it will happen but they have no idea when or where and the excitement keeps them constantly on edge. The idea that they will be unexpectedly bundled into a car, bound and gagged and possibly hurt (if that is part of the contract) makes them feel alive.
There is the darker side though – abuse and dysfunction, malice and greed. The nastiness of people probably gets to me more than the quirky strange behaviour that people engage in.
Cross dressers, people afraid of baked beans and those who believe they have been born in the wrong body (transgender). We live in a truly varied world and I embrace it fully.
Just when I think I have created a strong hypothesis..(eg. if A occurs then B will likely follow) something will happen that puts that theory to the test and I am back to the drawing board. Starting at ‘square one’ is common in my line of work, but each time I have learned something new and that’s the exciting part.
Being a Counsellor has taught me to be open minded and non judgemental. I am always looking for an alternative explanation.
Perhaps the strange, crazy world is being recreated within me!
For a bit of fun..try Mandy’s iphone app: Life Wisdom https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/life-wisdom/id392898772?mt=8
Â More on Mandy: https://www.mandyjane-lifedesign.com The author of this blog lives in Surrey, UK and offers counselling to couples and individuals. All names have been changed to protect the identity of clients. Personal client stories shared in this blog have been published with prior permission from the relevant clients.