If it’s been a while since you last dipped your toes into the dating pool, you’ll probably find dating has changed a lot since you last did it. Don’t worry though. The key ingredients are still romance and chemistry. Dating doesn’t have to be scary, just because you’re older.
Dating for seniors is often geared more toward having fun and finding companionship, rather than marriage. Here are a few tips to help you get back out there into the dating world, whether you’re widowed or divorced.
- A coffee date is a low-pressure idea for a first meeting because it keeps the date short. Coffee shops are usually busy, well-lit, and safe, making them perfect for meeting a stranger if you’re online or blind dating.
- Never give out any personal financial details to anyone that you have just met.
- Trust your instincts. If someone makes you uncomfortable, walk away.
- Watch out for red flags. Look out for warning signs like someone who is quick to anger, or attempts to pressure you. Avoid anyone who acts in a passive-aggressive manner, makes demeaning comments or is physically inappropriate. Be wary of someone too interested in your finances, or someone who wants to move the relationship along too quickly.
- Prepare some conversation starters. Ask your date about their hobbies and interest. Tell stories about your children. Ask them about their favourite foods, movies, or books.
- Remember if it’s okay to have dating as a lifestyle. If you were married for a long time, but now prefer your independence, this is fine, as long as you’re honest with your dates. The opposite is fine true if you’re looking for a life partner. If you met someone on holiday that made you want to immediately apply for UK spouse visa, as long as you’re being sensible, you can let love into your life again.
- Never underestimate the power of a smile. Use your smile as a secret weapon to make a date feel comfortable and to seem approachable.
- Don’t approach or try to meet someone at anywhere inappropriate or unsafe. If you’re meeting someone in person that you met online, choose somewhere busy and well-lit for your first meeting, just in case. Let someone know where you’re going and check in with them when you arrive.
- If your date seems to be going well, mention date number two before your first date is over to let them you’re interested in them.
- Don’t get caught up in the past. Live in the present instead. Unload any baggage you have before you start dating. Changes are your dates have baggage too, so it’s not a deal-breaker if you have some work to do to feel ready for a relationship.
- To show your date that you are interested, speed up or slow down your speech to match theirs.
- Remember that dating as a senior can actually be much easier than it was when you were a teenager. You have more social skills now after all.
Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
