Dating when you’re shy
There is nothing surprising in the fact that we all as people are very different from one another. Taste, views, preferences, attitudes, hobbies make us unique, but over such graduation we have very different psychology and temper. When you are an extravert, it is easy to be open to the world and establish connections with other people. But for a shy and introvert person, such things can turn into a real problem, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. And still, we all want to taste a bit of romance in our lives, so it is important to talk about dating when you are an introvert when you have trouble with an easygoing attitude towards other people.
First of all, online dating is the best choice. It helps to create a simple and understandable safe space, where are you get full control over the amount and type of communication you have with other people. You can start chatting and texting with someone you like or stop any communication that feels uncomfortable. Also dating websites, such as Dating.com, provide an opportunity to search for people matching your own bunch of criteria. It helps to lower the randomizing factor in dating and to keep everything more under control. Social anxiety is a huge problem for introverts, so searching and screening algorithms on dating websites help to overcome this feeling.
Here are some tips and hints that may help introverts to make dating more pleasant and successful:
- Understand the purposes. Try to clearly see why you start dating. Any reasons are okay, either you want just to flirt with someone or you would like to go into a serious relationship. A clear vision of a final goal helps to make the process better.
- Establish the borders. There is nothing wrong with protecting your personal space, so you can always say what is comfortable for you and what is not, what you would like to discuss and which topics better to avoid. It will help both you and your date feel comfortable and not be afraid to do something wrong.
- Accept your needs. We all need different amounts of interaction and communication, it’s fine. If only an hour a day for dating is okay to you, specify it to your date and try to explain your feelings as much as possible. Don’t feel embarrassed, rude, and indifferent if you want less communication than someone else.
- Be prepared for new things. Yes, sometimes dating may be out of the boundaries of yours, but it is okay to slowly see and experience something unknown. You may find it fun and pleasure in the end, just don’t push yourself too hard.
- Don’t make focus on your temper. You are an interested person with hobbies and activities you can share, with an opinion you can discuss, there are a lot of things that can be your features and define you as you are, not only introversion.
- Don’t be afraid to block someone who is disturbing and uncomfortable for you on a dating website. Platforms allow you to protect the boundaries of yours, there is nothing wrong with using the functions, taking care of yourself. It is important especially when you’re an introvert. Online dating is about your pleasure and a good time, don’t let anything spoil it.
Online dating is not a replacement for an offline one, it is a solid, interesting, fun, and joyful activity, it can be a practice on its own. If you’re comfortable with online dating, just enjoy it, and if you’re ready to try something else, you can go offline and get a new amazing experience.
You can check out the best online dating sites for introverts.
Featured image: https://images.lifealth.com/uploads/2017/12/Shy-couple-1.jpg
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
