Depression and my life
I wanted to share this story of depression and my life. I want others to know that they aren’t alone. Maybe you will relate to some of the things I write in this post.
I thought I was fine, I thought I was coping but gradually I found that I was withdrawing from others and isolating myself. I lost enthusiasm for most things and felt like I was diving into a long black tunnel with no light at the end. I wanted to sleep all the time because then I could escape from the meaningless life I was leading. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and felt guilty that I wasn’t more enthusiastic about my life. I mean, there wasn’t anything that awful going on.
I had family and friends. Had a job and my health so why wasn’t I happier? it made me start to dislike myself and that made me withdraw from others even more. I drifted from one day to the next hoping the next day would be better. But it never came. I was existing not living. Someone said to me one day that I might be depressed and I laughed it off. I blamed myself for my predicament. I did think about it though and started to give it some thought. I also did some googling (and came across this website).
It turned out that I had many classic symptoms of depression. Who knew? Just knowing that made the insufferably small dark tunnel I was in seem a little wider and brighter. I began to feel there might be some hope for me. By now, I had been depressed for about 6 months. I would sleep as much as I could and found it a huge task to wash, shave and present myself to the outside world. Thankfully my job kept some structure in my lilfe, but even my work suffered and I took off sick leave for 2 weeks.
For me, waht worked was a combination of antidepressants and counselling. Doing more helped a lot. I found it so hard to force myself to dress, sleep less and see others but slowly, it seemed to help and my mood improved. It took 3 weeks before I felt any difference.
Now I am coping much better. I still get days when I want to hide away but I manage them better and have found ways to stop myself slipping back, thanks to counselling.
Depression is something that affects people of all ages and all backgrounds. It doesn’t discriminate. Don’t give up on yourself. There are people that care. Reach out to family, friends or a counsellor. Just talking to others helped me to feel better. I am glad I don’t feel so alone.
****** Anonymous reader ******