Depression – A Client’s Perspective
Sometimes, I am privileged to find a client that is happy to share their experiences with others. One of my clients, let’s call her “Stella” agreed to write a guest post to give others insight into the life of someone who is chronically depressed. Here is her story:
“Depression has been in my life since my early twenties and it is something I have become used to living with. People tell me to “pull myself together” or to stop feeling sorry for myself which makes me feel worse. I wish I could fix it that easily but I can’t. Depression is a mental illness and people don’t take it seriously. You can’t see it and this makes people feel it isn’t real but to me it is as real as a broken arm. It stops me living my life in so many ways.
I constantly doubt myself. I try hard not to see the negatives in life but when depressed I cannot adjust my thinking. I don’t want to see anyone and I don’t want to go out. Even getting dressed or washing myself is something I find hard to do. Everything is so much effort. I feel worthless and useless and often think “what’s the point?”. I know this is a terrible attitude and I get mad at myself but I haven’t got the energy or the motivation to do anything to change it.
I have found that when I force myself to get dressed and go out that I tend to feel better but it is one of the hardest things to do. It’s not that I am afraid of being outside, it’s that it is too much effort. I want to sleep to escape. Life seems bleak when depressed.
I am slowly learning ways to move forward and now and then I feel some excitement again. Something I haven’t felt for a long time. It sometimes feels as though someone has taken a large syringe and sucked all the joy, excitement, enthusiasm and zest for life from me and left me with an overload of abject misery. I am drowning at times.
Since trying anti depressants I have improved although I don’t want to be on them forever. The medication and Mandy’s help is definitely making life easier and I feel I am getting back to my old self. I am even starting to look after myself again and brush my teeth daily. I am also looking forward to small things now whereas before I didn’t think about the future at all.
Depression is debilitating and anyone who tells a depressed person to “get over it” is ignorant and does not understand what depression is.”
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
