Are you in a rut? We all go through phases in life where we wonder what our next step is. We want to move forward but just don’t know how. It makes us crazy with frustration and a little bit mad at ourselves when weeks or months go by and nothing changes despite our thoughts about what life could be like.
So, what is stopping you?
What are you afraid of? Is it fear of the future or is it because you are stuck in the past? Either way, if you rest on your laurels you are going to end up dissatisfied with life.
Here are a few tips to help kick start your enthusiasm and move forward again. I call it “living vertically”. We all go through ‘horizontal’ phases where we’re just chugging along but not actually achieving much or blazing a trail. Living ‘vertically’ is when we are striving and making progress – whether that’s moving to a new home, starting a relationship, leaving an old relationship behind that doesn’t work for us or being promoted at work.
Actively visualise your new improved life – making new friends, earning more money, finishing that training course, being in that new job…whatever it is…visualise it happening. What will you be doing, how will you be acting and presenting yourself? A visualisation board can help too – find images that fit with the life you want and put them on a board somewhere obvious where you will see them daily.
Take full responsibility for your life. Don’t wait for some magic moment before you begin, it may never come. Make your own momentum…it is up to you and you alone. Get cracking with a plan to move forward and make sure that your goals are: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and put a time limit on them. For example: I will apply for 10 new jobs within the next 4 weeks.
The more specific the goal the better.
Reward yourself. If you stick to your plan give yourself a treat. A new outfit, an item of clothing – whatever it is that keeps you going and staying on track.
Change the way you think and do things. Break the patterns that have existed. Do things differently in order to spark new creativity within you. Try new restaurants, go to new places, make new friends..examine your thinking too. Do you limit yourself unnecessarily? If you catch yourself saying things like “I could never do that”..ask yourself why not? Where’s the rule book that insists on this? We all have self limiting beliefs but do not let them define you. They are thoughts, nothing more. Push through your fears and do it anyway…ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?”
Believe that you deserve the best and go for it. Believe it is possible.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
