Psychologists have studied the roots of motivation for many years. There is a difference between motivation from within (intrinsic motivation) and motivation from without (extrinsic).
Examples of intrinsic motivation would be someone applying for a University course because they love the course and find the content interesting. An example of extrinsic motivation would be someone’s parents offering to buy the son/daughter a car if they sign up for a particular University course. Motivation that comes from within is known as healthy motivation.
It is more resilient and occurs for the right reasons. Extrinsic motivation is short lived and often the person isn’t doing it for the love of it but rather for other secondary gains.
This is where may parents fall short – bribing or threatening their kids to do what they want.
There is also the question of inner drive…
Often, those adults who are driven and ambitious feel they have something to prove. They often come from backgrounds where the love given by their parents was conditional upon success.
Those that did not receive adequate love and affection can also be found among the high ranking professionals – constantly striving to fill the void. Constantly trying to achieve a state of self acceptance.
This begs the question – is it a good thing to give too much to children? Are children that are taught to work for things and struggle more likely to succeed? Are children who are too spoiled likely to be passive and expect everything to be laid in front of them with minimal effort? One thing I do know is that making life too easy for children and not allowing them the chance to figure out life for themselves is unhealthy.
What is is exactly that nurtures healthy ambition and drive? It’s an age old question for which there is no definitive answer. A healthy self esteem and an ability to take responsibility for one’s own life are very good qualities in the pursuit of fulfilment.
Nurture these and you’ll be on the right track.
Mandy x
Read more: https://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/blogs/cosmo-blog-awards-2013/enter-the-2013-cosmopolitan-blog-awards-nominate-now#ixzz2Ub5KrKMa For a bit of fun..try Mandy’s iphone app: Life Wisdom https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/life-wisdom/id392898772?mt=8 More on Mandy: https://www.mandyjane-lifedesign.com The author of this blog lives in Surrey, UK and offers counselling to couples and individuals. All names have been changed to protect the identity of clients. Personal client stories shared in this blog have been published with prior permission from the relevant clients.
