We would all like to live with peace of mind and here are a few ways to improve your emotional wellbeing.
1) Acceptance
Life is hard at times. No one has an easy life all of the time and part of the trick to coping is to accept that there will be hardships. Instead of resisting, being angry and wasting energy on what is, learn to accept that this is the way things are at the moment. Once you stop fighting it and thinking about how unfair it all is, you free up your mind for more positive thinking. Positive energy can flow in and help you come up with resolution focused ideas instead of spending wasted time fretting about what has happened.
2) Mindfulness
Try to stay in the moment. Most of us tend to let our thoughts take us away from the moment and we tend to start worrying about the past or panicking about problems in the future. Whilst we are engaged in this anxious thought, we are not being fully present in the moment. We are wasting the NOW of life. Learn to focus your attention on the present moment. Do this by engaging your senses – see what is around you, taste the food and drink, hear the conversation, sounds, smell the scents and surroundings. The more you engage your five senses the less you will be pulled away by your busy mind.
3) Unhook from your thoughts
We have something like 80 000 thoughts running through our minds EVERY day. Eighty percent of these thought are nonsense thoughts. They don’t lead to positive action or to making us feel better, they are just swirling around causing anxiety and problems. Learn to acknowledge the thoughts but not pay them attention. If you find yourself thinking something like – I feel fat and ugly in this outfit, that person over there looks so much better than I do, acknowledge it but don’t pay it attention. Distract yourself – it is just a thought, it is not a fact and it does not serve you well so it does not deserve any attention.
4) Challenge your thoughts
If you find it impossible to dismiss a thought, take the automatic negative thought (use the one in point 3 as an example) and challenge it. Where;s the evidence?How do you know you are fat and ugly? How do you define fat and ugly? Where is the book of life that says “you look fat and ugly right now in that dress”…more often than not – your thoughts are just your insecurities being triggered and we all have insecurities. Many of them are not based in reality. Learn to let them go or reframe them – I may not be perfect but I make the most of myself and I have come out looking my best today.
You can’t expect anymore of yourself. We are all a lot more self critical and others hardly notice the stuff we tend to worry about. Whilst we are worrying about our love handles showing through our clothing, the person next to you is probably more worried about their growing bald spot or someone else is worrying about whether their bum looks big. Learn to relax
5) Develop a sense of humour
Never ever take yourself too seriously. See the funny side to life and stop worrying too much about what others think. It;s your life to live not theirs. Live according to your own rules. be true to yourself.
6) Keep Perspective
When life feels overwhelming, remind yourself that you feel this way right now but that the intensity will subside. You will not feel that bad/upset one week from now, one month from now. Maintaining perspective reduces the impact and keeps us smiling.
Try to live one day at a time. Focus on what is good in your life and cultivate at attitude of gratitude. If you apply the above suggestions, you will be well on your way to a happier existence.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
