Marriage is a sacred agreement that a couple decides to get into. It is the best thing ever because two people who love each other live together to relish life. However, it has several challenges that might tear up the love and make the couple walk in separate directions. Understanding each other is the greatest thing to achieve for marriage to stabilize. Therefore, a couple needs to address some things before so that they can know how to approach anything when it happens. This will reduce the conflicts along the way, and no one will ever regret getting into this covenant.
1. How to Handle Fights
Disagreements in a marriage are compulsory because the two individuals have independent mindsets and perceptions in life. However, this should not turn into assault or insults. Instead, any issue should be addressed calmly and solved by the couple. Sometimes, there are problems too big to be solved just by talking. This is when hiring a divorce lawyer could help because he or she will offer solutions.
A divorce lawyer can provide the relevant intervention for peace to prevail. Therefore, the couple can organize sessions with the attorney before marriage to agree on how the fights will be handled in the future. The couple will even agree on what terms a divorce might have because some relationships are contractual.
2. Children
There are some people who do not want kids, and so it is necessary to discuss this with your partner before marriage. Children are blessings that grace the family, and they signify the love between two people. If a partner does not agree on having kids, you can decide to consult a marriage counselor to save the relationship.
Once you agree to have children, learn how to work together as a married couple to raise them and teach them. You must approach the issue wisely because it has triggered divorce in many families in the past. Disagreeing on the number of kids you want is fine, but when one partner wants kids and the other partner doesn’t, this poses a big problem.
3. Careers and Money
Finances have been the biggest concern for couples to the extent of causing tension and stress. Family demands increase once you marry, and you must address this issue before challenges begin. Finances will never be enough in a family setting because there is a lot to do, and if the couple is earning, it is wise to pool some money for common activities in separate accounts. Therefore, daily expenses or big investments will not stall because every coin is spent properly.
One can be a spendthrift, and the one a saver, and so proper agreement on spending should be determined to avoid frustrating each other. No one should determine what strategy to be used, but you should live within the budget. This should be accompanied by reasonable communication and figuring out how the financial situation is. Take time to discuss the careers as well because you both have goals and expectations.
4. Religion and Values
A stable family runs on certain values that may be related to religion in one way or another. Therefore, morals and religion are the wheels on which a marriage drives on. It is nice to know each other before marriage to know how religious the partner is because some extents can damage the relationship. Challenges might not feature in the initial stage, but later when raising kids, disagreements could erupt and distort the relationship. Therefore, take time to address faith and draw the lines to ensure the shared life will be smooth going forward.
5. Deal Breakers
Everyone has certain earmarked things they cannot tolerate, and if they happen in a marriage, it might turn out to be a divorce. Therefore, you should address these deal-breakers so that the partner can draw the lines with his or her evil things that can make the bucket list. Take time to explain your dream to the partner and the things you expect from him or her because you expect their assistance. The couple should complement each other in life, and the foundation should be built before marriage.
6. Location
A couple should agree where to settle based on certain aspects like careers, necessities, as well as social factors. The location might seem a minor concern, but it can cause massive challenges in the future if not addressed on time. Consider all the details of both parties and decide where to live before marriage.
Photo by Andre Jackson on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
