Feeling Empty
Too often I meet clients who say, “I have the house, the gorgeous spouse, the children, a great job and car I want, yet I still feel empty”. More often than not, this is down to living a life that is not in line with your values.
It begins at an early age as we begin to get socialized by parents and society. We are pulled away from our ‘essential self’, the true leanings and interests we have as a person and we are told to behave nicely and suppress our desires in order to fit in with society. I think the following quote is quite apt:
“Society wants you to be yourself…just not like that”.
It takes courage to be true to yourself and to follow what you want to do and there will always be conflict between what we want to do and our need to please others and be accepted. We all need to adjust to a certain degree but when we try too hard to please others we can end up losing ourselves and find that we have taken a path that is fulfilling, leaving us feeling empty.
Take time out from your busy life on a regular basis to take stock of what is happening and whether it is actually making you happy. Do you like the job you do or is it just a means to an end? What brings you joy at the moment? What stresses you out? I get ‘edgy’ if I have my head down for too long and don’t get a chance to have a little time out to take stock and re-assess. I like to check that I have a few short term and long term goals in place to add structure and purpose to my life.
We all need to feel connected with others and have a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. This is essential to avoid feeling empty.
Tips:
- Take time out to assess what brings you joy and contentment in your current life (positive energy).
- Ensure there is a balance between positive and negative energy (things that drain you/stress you out) in your life.
- Create short term and long term goals to add loose structure and direction to your life.
- Spend time alone and focus on self-awareness. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
- Connect with others – contentment comes from a sense of belonging.
- Be true to yourself and stop people-pleasing. It’s your life, not theirs.
- Find a sense of purpose and meaning – something that makes you feel alive and well. It could be volunteering, and often involves helping out those less fortunate than ourselves.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
