Find yourself

Photo by Claus Rebler

Do you know yourself? Do you know what makes you happy? When you find yourself, you know what makes you happy. You also know your strengths and weaknesses and are less swayed by others. When you develop you inner core and know who you are, you will achieve inner peace.

Here’s how to find yourself:

Rediscover childhood pursuits

What hobbies and interests have you stopped doing as an adult? Get back to trying some of them. Your ‘essential’ self was the person you were born to be. This person gets conditioned by society and your ‘social self’ develops. Your social self can hide your essential self and this is when we begin to feel lost and without identity. Think about activities where the times passes quickly – this is where your natural interests lie. Get back to those things you loved doing as a child.

Laugh a lot

Have fun. Play and mess about. Laughter smooths over a lot of negatives in life. It doesn’t take them away but it can make life more bearable. Learn to take life less seriously, things are often never as bad as they seem. Take regular time out.

Trust your instincts – listen to others less

We all have self doubt and this can hijack our own wisdom. Learn to tune into your inner wisdom. It is always there whispering to you but often we don’t listen. Tune out the ‘noise’ from others and tune into your instinctual tendencies. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go when you have self belief and trust your own judgement more.

Ask yourself – is this was my last day on earth, would I be happy doing what I am just about to do?

This one question sorts out priorities. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and stop thinking in an inspired way. Every now and then it’s important to assess where you are going, whether you are on track to achieve your goals and if the quality of your life is good enough. If it isn’t, put together an action plan and do some problem solving around possibilities for change and the future.

Stop the “musts” and “shoulds”

There is no need to place unnecessary pressure on ourselves and we do this when we use the words “must” and “should”. Try replacing them with “could” or “I would prefer…”. We always have more choice in life that we think we do and these 2 words limit us.

Live in the moment

Our power to make a difference, feel happy and make changes lies in the present moment. This is what is happening to us NOW. Learn to enjoy the small things in life and be more mindful. The past is gone (learn from it) and the future is yet to come (do things now to lay ground for the future). Set goals and have a future direction but then get back to living in the present moment. Look at how happy our pets are – they live in the present and don’t worry about things that might never happen. Copy this behaviour.

Be true to yourself

This one’s important – be a misfit, be different, be unconventional but whatever you do, be true to yourself. Be proud of your quirks and differences. The more you love and accept yourself (yes, I know it’s a cliche) the more others will too. Love yourself, be yourself and never change who you are to get others to like you.

Finding yourself means being introspective regularly. Know yourself well and figure out what you like, dislike as well as what your strengths and weaknesses. There is nothing quite like being loved for who you really are.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.