mental health Mandy Kloppers

Formula for finding out what you want

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Formula for finding out what you want

How do you figure out specifically what you want in life?

You must ask yourself a series of four questions

1) What do I want?

2) What must I do to have it?

3) How would I feel when I have it?

4) So, what I really want is to feel ___ (fill in the blank)?

Once you’ve answered these questions, you circle back for round two (and maybe three and four) of the same questions. And—this is important—you can’t give the same answer twice.

The idea is to keep digging deeper, for root answers. Most people start out with something pretty superficial,  like wanting a new job, a new car, or a new husband—something external to themselves.

But what they really want is pride in themselves, for example.

I asked myself these four questions and what ultimately resulted was freedom to make choices and to feel independent.  Finding out what you want lends meaning and purpose to life. What we think we want is often different to what we really want.

Mandy X

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If you play this game alone, writing down your answers is helpful; if you do it with a friend, choose someone you trust. And remember: This is a “What do you want?” exercise that should be followed by the drawing up of a “How do you get it?” real-life action plan.

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Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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