Four ways to get what you want in life
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Attend to your relationships
It’s never a good idea to stop working on relationships that mean something to you. When we neglect important relationships and stop communicating about the important stuff that keeps us connected – like how we are feeling, what matters most to us and having fun in the relationship and doing things together, we end up detaching over time and one day we realise we don’t even know our partners that well anymore, Don’t let hurts and problems build up!
End hopeless relationships. Stop hanging on to something that no longer meets your needs. I know I have often stayed in relationships far too long – more out of fear of being single and the unfamiliar than anything else. This is never good idea and in hindsight I wish I had ended things sooner.
If the relationship is working at, don’t let conflicts build up. Try not to bottle up anger and resentment as this will kill the love in the relationship over time.
2. Balance priorities versus demands
When you feel overwhelmed, the first thing to do is to reduce or put off low priority demands. Make sure you know what is important and what can be delayed. Chunk down different tasks instead of worrying about everything all at once -that would make anyone feel overwhelmed (and neurotic). Ask for help (I find it hard to do this), others are usually far more happy to help than you realize.
3. Balance the “Wants” and “Shoulds”
Figure out what you truly enjoy doing and want to do as opposed to the things you feel you should do. When life is too full of “shoulds” it can make us resentful, angry and fatigued. Try to keep the two in balance.
Be assertive and get others to take your opinions seriously.
Ask for what you want – got others to do things too.
Learn to say “no” to unwanted requests.
4. Build mastery and self respect
Focus on interacting with others in a way to promotes a feeling of competency and effectiveness, not a feeling of being helpless and overly dependent. Stand up for yourself, your beliefs and opinions; follow your instincts and intuition.
The above are little tips, that if you practise will make a large difference in your life.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
