Freedom to choose

Life has a habit of throwing us curve balls. I have learned that it is best to accept that life is inherently up and down and that certainty is not guaranteed. One of the curve balls I have been thrown is living with Cystic Fibrosis – an inherited illness that causes repeated lung infections, digestive problems and can lead to diabetes as well.

I developed a chest infection three weeks ago and also lost my voice in the process which means I have been unable to work. Two days ago after having intravenous drugs for 2 weeks at home, I was admitted to hospital as I was not improving.

The main reason I am writing about this is because 5-10 years ago this would have completely freaked me out. I remember having to go into hospital years ago and being filled with self loathing. I really didn’t help myself. The thing is – the situation is the same whether I think negatively, positively or neutrally about it. It is my thinking that upsets me. This time round I have decided to be philosophical and deal with whatever comes my way without catastrophising.

As things currently stand, the doctors have no clue as to when my voice might return which is worrying as I need to get back to work. I have been referred to a speech therapist in the meantime. So, I could spend time worrying about something I have no control over, or I can do my best to use my thinking productively and try to find solutions to deal with the situation. Maybe I can become a sign language interpreter…okay, that’s not funny. But you get my drift…There’s things we can’t change but we do have the freedom to choose how we look at the problem and how we react.

And having three meals brought to me in bed every day isn’t all that bad…

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.