You can progress in life..consider this:
There definitely are ways to gain an edge over the competition. Do it for yourself though instead of attempting to be better than someone else. Focus on yourself and not others and your goals will be clearer and more in line with your values.
Here’s how to get ahead:
Accept that you are equal and worthy
1) Never think that something/someone is above you or out of your league. When you believe that you are inferior to someone, your body language changes and the whole interaction becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Strip away all the superficial stuff like money, status and looks and focus on the personality of the other person. Remind yourself that they use the toilet too (they might have body odour, ingrown hairs etc..let your imagination run wild) and that they, no doubt, have their own insecurities – this makes others seem more human and fallible!
Use Approach behaviour, not avoidant behaviour
2) Push yourself to try unfamiliar things often. The more you push yourself out of your comfort zone the quicker your confidence will grow. The only way to figure out your true mettle is to put yourself through challenges. Even if the outcome isn’t positive, humans tend to deal with action and consequences better than inaction and wondering “what if”. See life as an adventure. Don’t overanalyse, just do and deal with it…
Accept responsibility for your current situation
3) Don’t play the victim. If you want to get ahead accept where you are in life as the sum total of all your past actions and decisions. The upside of taking full responsibility is that you feel in control of your life. You are where you are in life because of you, not because of anyone else. Accept the good and the bad. Taking responsibility is scary at times but it is the only way to truly stand on your own two feet and achieve your true potential.
Stay optimistic – don’t believe the negative thoughts
4) Positive expectancy. Be optimistic about the future. Try not to engage in endless worry sessions about all that could go wrong. Some people like to expect the worst and then they feel they won’t be disappointed. They should be disappointed with their negative expectancy plan – they’re letting themselves down. Think big to get ahead.
Be self-compassionate
5)Positive self-talk. Always talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Love yourself as you want to be loved by others. You’re all you really have in this life – you will have to live with yourself 100% of the time. Friends, lovers, family might come and go – you are a constant. Learn to like yourself – it’s non-negotiable.
Visualise confident behaviour/body language
6)Learn to “act as if” during the ‘wobbly bits’. No one can pull off being superhuman all the time. It’s okay to have downtime or ‘duvet days’, whatever you want to call them. When your confidence and go-getting nature seem to have taken a holiday, call upon the actor within you and “act as if”. Practising can allow the real genuine thing to appear – when we act confident, we strengthen those neural pathways associated with confident behaviour. Research has shown that the unconscious mind processes reality and imagined reality in the same way. The more you visualise and “act as if” the more you are likely to create that positive reality in your life, not just in your imagination.
On a typical day in the brain, trillions of messages are sent and received. The messages that are happy, upbeat messages are carried by the brain’s “HAPPY MESSENGERS” (technically known as Biogenic Amine/Endorphin System). Other messages are sombre and quieting. They are carried by the brain’s “SAD MESSENGERS”. Most nerve centers receive input from both types of messengers. As long as this input is balanced, everything runs along on an even keel.
What stress does to your body
Stress, however, causes problems with the brain’s Happy Messengers. When life is smooth, the happy messages keep up with demand. But when too much stress is placed on the brain, the Happy Messengers begin to fall behind on their deliveries. As the stress continues, the happy messages begin to fail. Important nerve centers then receive mostly SAD MESSAGES, and the whole brain becomes distressed. The person enters a state of brain chemical imbalance known as — OVERSTRESS.
We all tend to self-sabotage and do things that work against us. Insecurities are common too, but we can choose how much we give in to those negative thoughts. They don’t do us any good. We have much more choice than we realise. Your brain sends hundreds of messages to the rest of your body each and every day. Make sure that those directions work well for you.
Learn to take note of the helpful messages/thoughts and dismiss the unhelpful ones and you will make amazing progress.
Mandy X
Photo by Jungwoo Hong on Unsplash
References:
https://www.teachhealth.com/chemmess.html
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
